Altaf Hussain as a CNG Rickshaw driver…

I was thinking what would become of Karachi and the green CNG rickshaws, (legacy of debunked General & President Musharraf) if Altaf Hussain, Pir of London, Imam of Mohajirs of Karachi, were to suddenly transform from being a leader of MQM into an erstwhile rickshawala.

First, he won’t get any license. PPP wants all Sindhis, mostly un-educated and belonging to interior, to do everything. From sweepers to customs officers at port, to PIA’s various GMs, and the President of the god-damn country.

If in case he gets the license, he will do lot of things.

For one, he will not allow CNG rickshaw to remain green for ever. He will turn it into red blood with various slogans and his huge portraits, made white using extra box of talcum powder.

Non-Mohajirs won’t be allowed to sit in his CNG rickshaw. He will only allow Mohajirs to sit behind him (he likes everyone behind him!) He will also not use the traditional peep peep horn. In fact, he will use mulla-style speakers and blare MQM-zindabad slogans as he weaves his way across the city. His CNG Rickshaw will also not look like a CNG Rockshaw but more like a donkey fitted rickshaw. (Most of his party looks like a bunch of donkeys). And his CNG rickshaw will not climb the many idiosyncratic flyovers his assistant, Mr. Mustafa Kamal, has built around the city. So he being Altaf Hussain will flatten most of them much to the determinant of the city and its exploding population.

Altaf Hussain being Altaf Hussain will also not allow Pushtun-run buses to ply the city without harassing them. He will make sure that his red-blood CNG Rickshaw is always parked in front of their mini-buses. He will also try and poke Pushtuns and will try and provoke them. This will cause massive blood-shed in the city and Altaf Hussain being Altaf Hussain would ask all Mohajirs to carry arms so that they may protect themselves from the ‘terrorists’ Pushtuns. Thereafter, all CNG Rickshaws would be snatched at gun-point and other points from other drivers, painted red, with MQM flags installed and Altaf bhai portraits flashing with dark face and elephant white teeth. Then all these red-painted rickshaws will move behind Altaf Bhai’s rickshaw and will stop whenever he gives his comic speech to the millions of bhais and sisters of the city. (Meri behnoon tumhara kia, mein janoon mera Rickshaw janay).

Altaf Hussain is requested to remain in London and die there and not become the CNG Rickshaw driver in the city of Quaid-e-Azam. We can do without Altaf bhai riding the red-blood rickshaw. God Willing.

113 Comments so far

  1. khaled on September 15th, 2008 @ 1:41 am

    @ Ameer Hamza

    MQM won 80% seats from karachi, MQM cheif is Altaf Hussain and MQM is voted by Urdu Speaking people so the logioc you gave is totally wrong and continuation of the theory given by Asif Nawaz and Army in 92 that had failed miserly.
    This forum is non democratic forum where posts are deleted and people like Teeth Ameer Hamza Doctor Adnan etc writes freely against MQM.
    The purpose of all this is to show that Karachities are against MQM but they can do little about it as MQM is the voice of urdu speaking people and Altaf Hussain is the LEader and Cheif of MQM and Urdu SPeaking COmmunity.

    From 1987 MQM won elections even in 1993 when army was deployed in karachi and inside Polling Stations MQM sweeps the elections.

    The Moderators of this forum are Anti Urdu Speaking People and against the rapid development of Karachi by MQM.

  2. Talha Aziz (aziztalha) on September 15th, 2008 @ 11:05 am

    i m no fan of Altaf Hussain.. but its guys like ammerhamza, doctor, adnan (all of who are probably the same person) that are making me wonder if they are against altaf hussain just for the sake of being against him and are just provoking people for fun.

    whether we like it or not .. MQM does has the people’s support as evident from the lest election’s results … and i hate to admit it … whenever in future, IF i ever go out casting my vote .. i will most definitely vote for MQM as they are the only ones that are infact a sheild of protection for the people of Karachi against the abusive, exploitative and un-parh punjabis.

  3. tzaidi on September 15th, 2008 @ 7:27 pm

    @AH (or whatever shoaib call you), your comment that Altaf Hussain, MQM and Urdu Speaking Community are three different things, is entirely wrong and is misleading in various ways.

    1- First of all MQM is the only platform / political party which represent Urdu-speaking community in house of parliament.

    2- Secondly, as Khaled has mentioned, MQM has won the elections in every season, no matter if they are in opposition or in power, they have always secured victory.

    3- Altaf Hussain, if he is not the righteous leader or does not have leadership qualities or is too corrupt to be a leader then let me remind you, he is only person in whose leadership this party has become on of the major player in Pakistani politics.

    4- If it wasn’t for MQM then all the governments would have taken all the revenue generated from Karachi and we would have stayed with minimal budget, if Mustafa Kamal wasn’t a mayor (or Nazim e Aalla) then you wouldn’t have been able to see all these underpasses and bridges in the city.

    5- Lastly, if Altaf Hussain is so bad and have killed so many people and if MQM is doing all these brutal killings around the city, then I wonder why so many people who openly say BS about MQM and its leaders are still roaming around ….. ALIVE.

    Apni aankhon say pattee hatao aur haqiqat dekho!!

  4. noumaan on September 15th, 2008 @ 9:56 pm

    I feel so sorry to say this, but it seems like the contributors at Karachi metroblogs just love to stir the shit so that they can have the posts with many comments from users who would not only find the posts offensive but also degrading.

    While people have the right to express their dislike for MQM and Altaf Hussain. They should make sure that it is not offensive.

    A blog is a community, there are some rules and etiquites to behave and communicate with in the community. We come here to celebrate our city and our differences, but we do not come here to see bad offensive humor so that we write comments and the author could feel proud that he attracted a hundered thousand comments.

    I respect author’s freedom of expression and consider this post as his attempt on being funny. However, I myself along with many other commenters above failed to get the humor. Perhaps it has something to do with our lower-middle-class upbringing?

    There were phrases that were racist such as:

    PPP wants all Sindhis, mostly un-educated and belonging to interior, to do everything. From sweepers to customs officers at port, to PIA’s various GMs, and the President of the god-damn country.

    The author totally ignores the Prime minister of Pakistan, and other ministers from Punjab in the federal cabinet. Also these lines make PPP look like a mob of uneducated waderas. Or that PPP prefers Sindhis who are ultimately uneducated and mis fit for the jobs.

    The lines mentioning Altaf Hussains skin color and white teeth were also very annoying.

    I wouldn’t say that the post should be removed. But such attempts to provoke people so that they comment in order to defend their favorite political parties or show their disgust, must be discouraged. I don’t mind well written humor. But if I have to entertain myself with sick minded fun i would rather go to watch Umer Sharif at the arts council.

  5. shoaib on September 16th, 2008 @ 2:31 am

    Good and very professional. Much appreciated.

  6. khaled on September 16th, 2008 @ 3:55 am

    As i wrote above the forum is used for anti MQM propaganda to show the world that Karachities are against MQM interestingly the person running the show are NOT from KARACHI itself that is TEETH MAESTRO, He is from Lahore. He is here to earn his bread and butter and his soul still favors what Lahore thinks and do damn care about Karachi its people and the mandate of this city.
    People like AMeer Hamza are so scared and pissed off to Urdu speaking community that he wrote above

    "And Urdu speaking community, almost all of which came from India, has been hijacked by these crackpot MQM and Altaf Husain. Lot of Urdu speakers are now unable to make decisions on their own and instead follow these foolish men of terror. I hope people of Karachi are able to distinguish b/w Urdu speakers and the bloody MQM."

    They don’t care about Urdu speaking community they only cares about how to crash MQM and urdu Speaking dominance of this city.

    and all this is because of the thinking of Punjab and punjabies that they are superior and they have the right to rule Karachi and Pakistan.
    These soo called Patriotic people got MUM when Punabi Nationalist Leader Nawaz Sharif was ruling Pakistan and US fired missiles using Pakistani Air space into afghanistan.

  7. d0ct0r on September 17th, 2008 @ 12:17 am

    Pack of whiners defending this criminal gang are again howling and yammering

    I think i have already responded quite comprehensively but for the mentally challenged ones i don’t mind pasting it again.

    d0ct0r on September 13th, 2008 @ 6:06 am

    Stop talking rubbish and nonsense,you are trying to give an impression that i am against Mohajirs,my forefathers being mohajir it would be foolish of me to be criticizing or cursing Muhajirs and their struggle and countless sacrifices which got us a free Pakistan.

    My real bone of contention is with MQM and its criminals like those involved in burning people alive,murdering,threatening,extorting money from karachiites and involved in other heinous crimes.For the umpteenth time MQM Altaf is NOT synonymous with Muhajirs nor karachiites and is simply a bunch of hardened criminals and crooks,giving a bad name to muhajirs plus you too by constantly being persistent and stubbornly naive are trying to send out a negative image of Muhajirs that these criminals and terrorists am talking about are indeed muhajirs,which is certainly not the case and neither my intention.

    Moreover am not at all related to or associated with Tahreek-e-Insaaf But its a fact that TI is not involved in burning or brutally murdering karachiites either..

  8. d0ct0r on September 17th, 2008 @ 12:25 am

    Heinous crimes like (stirring ethnic violence/murder/kidnapping for ransom/extortion/political assassination/land garbing,narcotics smuggling, and other criminal activities ) might not be crimes in your book but that just shows your demented,sadist and sick state of mind

    Any one who talks about the crimes committed by this criminal gang is instantly tagged ‘Anti Muhajir’ and results in eventually receiving death threats as it was apparent from the case of journalist threatened and tagged Anti Muhajir by MQM Altaf.

  9. d0ct0r on September 17th, 2008 @ 12:55 am

    The lawyer of MQM Chief Altaf Hussain’s wife Faiza Gabol said Friday night that there is separation between his client and her husband and this separation had happened two years ago.

    According to the lawyer, Faiza said this action from her has its basis in Altaf’s "insulting" and "callous" attitude towards her, over the past six years. She also alleged that after marriage she was virtually made a prisoner.She alleged that the main goal for Altaf Hussain at the time of the marriage was to acquire UK citizenship .Once that was achieved his attitude started changing, leading to separation and now filing of the divorce.

    Now you can imagine what kind of lowlife douche bag this mentally unstable person really is that he didn’t even spared his wife and Father in law.

  10. tzaidi on September 17th, 2008 @ 1:25 am

    @d0ct0r: stop talking about someones marital troubles on this platform, its their private matter and no one has any right to discuss it. How far you will go in hating MQM? stop talking about someones domestic issues/

    What if someone post issues relsted to your family matters on thos plateform???

    Enough is enough!!! only four words for you:

    SHUT THE F_ _K up !!!!!!!

  11. khaled on September 17th, 2008 @ 1:39 am


    you call yourself democrat ??
    Good by putting moderation on posts you showed your ugly face.

  12. khaled on September 17th, 2008 @ 1:56 am

    Why Mohajirs needs MQM
    Systematic massacres of Mohajirs Before and after MQM.

    For Voting Fatima Jinnah

    Riots in Karachi

    January 4. Ethnic riots erupt in Karachi as citizens protest against violation of Section 144 by President’s son and Pukhtoon transporters, who took out a procession to celebrate election victory. Aggressors raid colonies in the night. Bloody massacres are witnessed, yet official sources claim only six dead.

    Ethnic riots in Sindh

    July 8 Following the passage of the Sindhi Language Bill yesterday, terrible ethnic riots errupt in Sindh, dividing the province along ethnic lines with Urdu-speakers and those who speak Sindhi pitted against each other.


    Clean-up mess

    Karachi, December 13 The operation launched yesterday in Sohrab Goth, aimed at ridding the area of drugs and weapons, ends in failure. Only 65 kilos of heroin, one Kalashnikov and 2,000 rounds of ammunition are recovered from what is considered to be one of the most important transit posts in the international heroin trade. A high-level leak is suspected to be the cause for the failure.

    Orangi killings

    Karachi, December 14 An unprecedented massacre of innocent citizens takes place in Qasba Colony, Aligarh Colony and Sector 1-D of Orangi in the early hours of the morning as several hundred marauders open fire on residents with Kalashnikovs and 7mm rifles, setting fire to homes in the area. The police refuse to intervene in what is viewed as a revenge attack by Pakhtuns on a largely mohajir locality. The carnage continues until around 4 pm, when the army is finally called in. The official death toll is 49, and several hundred more are injured.

    Hyderabad Massacre

    Sep 30 Unknown snipers in Hyderabad kill 120 in a brutal massacre; army called in to restore order and curfew imposed


    Massacre in Hyderabad

    May 27 More than 60, including women and children, die in Hyderabad Pucca Qila area during a police operation, heightening the growing tension between the MQM and the PPP


  13. tzaidi on September 17th, 2008 @ 8:11 pm

    stop it Khaled, no need to show them the scars we (the mohajirs) are carrying on our chest. These wanabe-panjabis, will realize one day, where and to whom to turn to….. wait for that day.

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