Bakra eid arrives

Hey hey its Eid Tomorow, Eid ul Adha to be specific and as we Karachites go around buying up what we can with four feet attached (at crazy prices) I thought it would be good if we could all remember the following suggestions.

  • Keep thy neighborhood clean people, less offal more sanitary stuff, blood on the sidewalks makes for a distasteful and smelly sight.
  • Do remember the spirit of the occasion, it is better to distribute meat to those who cannot afford to eat it than have fancy bbq’s for friends who eat it all the time.
  • The price of the Qurbani “DOES NOT MATTER” although we as Karachites have a habit of going “bhai kitna ka hay” it is really not important, what is important is that it is accepted in the eyes of god.
  • Qurbani is not mandatory, except for haj. So for those of us who could not afford it this year do remember it is just a “if you can” part of Islam. There is also no stipulation which says one animal per person or any other such rubbish.

I would also like to wish each and every one of you Karachites and my fellow KMB team a very happy and scrumptious Eid. Eid Mubarak people, let the slaughter begin!!!

68 Comments so far

  1. kabirdas on December 12th, 2008 @ 11:58 pm

    @ barristerakc on December 12th.

    In regard to your first para I would like to quote my Guru, Bertrand Russell who in his essay ‘ An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish’ goes on to say:

    " Modern morals are a mixture of two elements: on the one hand, rational concepts as to how to live peaceably in a society, and on the other hand traditional taboos derived originally from some ancient superstition, but proximately from some sacred books, Christian, Mohammadan, Hindu, or Buddhist. To some extent the two agree; the murder and theft, for instance, is supported both by human reason and by Divine command. But the prohibition of pork or beef has only scriptual authority, and that too in certain religions. It is odd that that modern men, who are aware of what science has done in the way of bringing new knowledge and altering the conditions of social life, should still be willing to accept the authority of the texts embodying the outlook very ancient and very pastoral or agricultural tribes. It is discourging that many of the precepts whose sacred character is thus uncritically acknowledged should be such as to inflict much wholly unnecessary misery. If men’s kindly impulses were stronger, they would find some way of explaining that these precepts are not to be taken literally, any more than the command to ‘sell all that thou hast and give to thepoor’."

    This passage, you will find, also contains the answer to your question about kissing a woman on her lips. Going by human reason it is ok. It may be ok even going by our sacred book provided the female is your wife.

    I have heard of Sarmad Shaheed but do not know much about him. After reading your comments I intend to read more about him. I am sure I will find him by googling for him. Now you may or may not know another Sufi poet of Punjab called Shah Hussain. He also seems to have fallen in love with a Hindu boy. He had also changed his name for some reason. I wonder if Shah Hussain and Sarmad Shaheed are the same person. Chances are they are. Anyway I will find out more about it soon.

    I wonder if the story narrated by your father is that of Lal Shah. He was a Sufi type of person who after some chilla kashi lost his mind or you may say became a majzoob. His conduct was also like the person your dad has described. He belonged to Murree. He was a very well known and well revered person. When he died a mazar was built for him. An Urs takes place on this mazar every year. Please ask your father if he is talking about Pir Lal Shah of Murree.

  2. kabirdas on December 13th, 2008 @ 12:50 am

    @ balma on December 12th.

    I think Omar Khyyam has portrayed your feelings well when he said:

    A book of Verses underneath the Bough,
    A jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread—and thou
    Beside me singing in the Wilderness—
    Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!

    Balma Bhai, Kabir is a simple soul. For him a jug of wine is the first priority if not the only priority—-and ‘thou’ is his last priority if at all it has to be priortised. This priortisation by Kabir is based on his vast experience of life. You are still too young to know what is what.
    Good luck to you.

  3. balma on December 13th, 2008 @ 1:27 am

    Kabirdas, what? I thought I was the senior citizen of KMB?
    Please get in touch with.

    I will send your Omar Khyyam verses to couple of babes, number baRhaaney kay liyae….no no, not wife. Get out of here!

  4. balma on December 13th, 2008 @ 1:38 am

    I meant kabirdas, get in touch with vakeel.

  5. kabirdas on December 13th, 2008 @ 2:10 am

    You might have been the senior citizen of KMB till Kabir Das came on the scene. Not any more.
    Will get in touch with our vakeel tomorrow Inshallah!

  6. barristerakc on December 13th, 2008 @ 8:44 pm

    great! itnay barray barray kay darmiyaan chota sa, vakeel! they say, young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot…!!!! aik Sharabi aur aik Kebabi kya baat hai…!!!! (although, i am a cambo of both of your attributes)….

    ps. kabirdas, I checked and he was LAL SHAH :)..(waiting for the…)

  7. kabirdas on December 13th, 2008 @ 9:10 pm

    @ barristerakc on December 13th

    1. BaRay mian to baRay maian, chotay mian subhan allah
    2. There is no such thing as a chota vakeel. Akabar Illah Abadi (himself a vakeel) rightly acknowledged:
    Howa vakeel pada to Iblees nay kaha
    Lo aaj maiN bhee sahab-e-old ho gaya
    3. Don’t underestimate old men any more with viagra around.
    4. Aik Sharabi aur aik kababi but both hopefully with a clean heart.
    Yes, the description sounded like that of Lal Shah. I have yet to check about Sarmad Shaheed and Shah Hussain. The similarity of falling in love with a Hindu boy is rather uncanny. You will hear from me tonight bafore I call it a day.

  8. barristerakc on December 14th, 2008 @ 1:21 am

    aray guru’s shama kee jeeyay!

    Akabar Illah Abadi ke kya baat hai!

    Akber Allahabadi penned his imortal line which just stuck in my mind kay, “aap BA pass haiN to meiN bhee BB pass hoon”


    Be-parda nazar aayeen kal jo chand beebiyaan
    Akbar zameen mein ghairat-e-qaumi se garh gaya
    Poochha jo unse aapka parda vo kya hua
    Kehne lageen ke aql ki mardon pe parh gaya

    Speaking of Akber Allahbadi the great ; here’s something which he said for BALMA,

    shaamat jo ayee uss ki kiya dossra nikah; samjha ke chaar shar` e piyamber mein hain mabah; ayee magar nazar na koee soorat e falah; kaisi buree ye raey thi aur kaisi bud salah; fursat na aik pal usay dee qeel o qaal ne, jeena haraam ker diya iss ik halal ne…

    Allahabad is after all famous for three things – Akber Allahabadi, Guavas (Umrood) & Amitabh Bachan

  9. balma on December 14th, 2008 @ 1:37 am

    Vakeel, chhoTay hou, baRee baRee baatai’n karo tou phir poore karo:
    Nehru is the most famous product of Allahabad.

  10. barristerakc on December 14th, 2008 @ 2:00 am

    Sorry Hazrat Balma about the memory lapse! It’s Saturday and I just came back ahem ahem….

    Btw, Ibn-e- Safi (the writer) and Mohammad Kaif (the cricketer) are famous Allahabadis – I know some of my friends who are from Allahabad and they maintain a pretty strong connection…University of Allahabad is legendry…The great Firaq Saheb is from Allahabad too…great city!

  11. kabirdas on December 14th, 2008 @ 3:05 am

    @ barristerakc
    What Akbar Allah Abadi said about Balma is a new one for me. Makarrar Irshad.

    I have vague memories of three Indian cities, Shahjahan Pour, Delhi and Shimla. I still remember the delicious Umroods of Shahjahan Pour beside the Yakka and Thaila on which I rode to go to school. You are too young to know what a Yakka and Thaila were. You might have seen the picture of a Yakka in your class one Quaida but you might not know what a Thaila was. OK try to find out what a thaila was on which children rode to go to school.

    When you say Firaq Sahab which Friaq you mean. I know only one Firaq who was Gorkhpoori. May be Gorakhpoor is some place in Allah Abad.

    You may respond to Balma as follows:
    LaRka hooN maeN chot sa par Kam karooN ga baRay baRy ( NO, not buray buray like Balma)

    My response to your message got deleted accidently just when I had completed it. It is too late to write again all over.

    A little while ago read the definition of democracy by George Bernard Shaw. Seems as if he defined it keeping the democracy of Pakistan in mind. He says:
    "Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve."

  12. barristerakc on December 14th, 2008 @ 3:25 pm

    Bingo! Firaq Gorakhpuri…(honestly, I am not good with names) – I really started reading Urdu literature during my self exile in England as a student when a friend presented a book….and ofcourse, post-Anwer Maqsud lectures on how do you expect others to respect Urdu when You (yourself) do not speak, read and respect yours…I see our young generation tilting towards English/Minglish while the “Piss”-er –e-Zameen taking over from us (unfortunately)….

    Speaking of Shimla (where my grand mother’s brother lives and now a converted “hindu” Alhumdulliah …who refused to accept partiton – I do not blame him); it’s still a very much “off-limit” to Pakistani or Even Pakistani Origin tourists because of Shimla being a garrision town. It’s a beautiful place especially the town house – somehow reminds me of Abbotabad Town House? Try to make it to Kalka by road, and grab a ride on the Mountain Railway towards Shimla, timed well you can go up in the early morning and be back by late night.

    Shahjahan Pour? That’s interesting? Agra? And no I am not familiar with Yakka & Thaila? The word Yakka in my dictionary is “devil worshipper”…but our “Yakka” is prorably a bull-cart?

    You see gandasa, paye, foul language, dumping women alive, gang raping women and agriculture is not our culture really – it’s “PISS”ER-e-ZAMEEN’s culture…*thinking of balma* …

    Wasay been to Fatehpur Sikri? My Town?

  13. kabirdas on December 15th, 2008 @ 1:45 am

    @ barristerakc on December 14th,
    1. It is rather odd that in the whole of world ( as far as I have seen)it is only south Asians (India+ Pakiatani+ Cylonese) who do not take as much pride in speaking their own language as they do in speaking English. I often wonder about the precise reason for this.

    2. I don’t want to sound personal but would you say that the brother of your grand mother converted to Hinduism as a protest against partition or under duress. Any way I feel a person should have the freedom to choose his religion like he should have freedom of speech, and freedom of thought. I find it it odd that Islam (or is it Mulla again) does not permit leaving Islam. If I just happen to be borne in a Muslim family through no fault of mine then why should I not have the freedom to choose a religion for myself ???

    3. The only thing I remember of Shimla is its monkeys of which I used to be so scared.

    4. Yakka was a small size tonga like carriage pulled by a horse. In my time in Quaidas ‘Alif’ was always for ‘Aam’ and small ‘yeh’ for ‘Yakka’. I don’t know what are ‘Alif’ and ‘Yeh’ for these days.

    5. Thaila was a two wheeled covered carriage pulled by one or two men. I think it was meant to ferry only children to school.

    6. By Pisser-e-Zamin do you mean only Punjabis or also the rest of Pakistanis other than Mohajirs?? You may well be right about certain aspect of their culture which is the result of feudalism, waderaism and lack of education

    7. However, you should be grateful to Punjab for having done so much for the development of Urdu. You should also give Punjabis the credit for genuinely treating Urdu as the national language of Pakistan.

    8. Although I have lived among Punjabis only for a small part of my life I have found them very affable people. I am rather fond of them. However, if you are asked to enumerate their faults or your major grievance against them what would they be ???

  14. balma on December 15th, 2008 @ 11:23 am

    Gorakhpur is far east UP, near Bihar.

    Therefore Firaq Gorakhpuri was not from Allahabad, I guess.

    Like Kabirdas, I also agree that desis are the least self respeecting people on the face of this earth. Chinese speak chinese at home, Arabs speak Arabic at home, but fucking desis speak tooTi-phooTi English at home. I don’t know if people remember my comments in July after trip to Inida. I refused to speak English at hotels in Dehli. Kar lo jo karna hae. Aik laRkee muj say baad may bolnay lagee, sir ooper valay kehtay hai’n…and actually I felt little bad for getting angry at her for speaking in English when she knew I spoke Urdu (hindi)…baichaaree ko rozee kaamaanee hae.
    Hamara PK/India kaa culture kharaab ho gayaa hae.

    Also, KabirDaas Sahib, you after all may be more senior than me. ab tou aap mujhay pre-partition material lagnay lagay hai’n!

    btw, I speak good urdu so this young girl in PK asked me, oh, aap india may paida huay thay?…In other words, if you speak normal language, babes now think you are sooo old that you were born in India.

  15. barristerakc on December 15th, 2008 @ 12:48 pm

    Firaq Gorakhpuri was a darwaish and a great poet. He joined the prestigious Provincial Civil Service (PCS) back in UP; resigned and then moved to Allahabad where he lectured at English Department of University of Allahabad ….

    Some years back I did a little research in Coventry, (UK) on the effect of the English language on other major languages; I asked Germans, Spanish, Italians, Russians, and Polish, whether they use English words in their respective languages when they speak, the answer was definitely NO. When I asked French, I was laughed at. Although, the “posh” English who hate dudly accent still prefer to speak in French just to show-off…while I show off with my Urdu Poetry skills and my pure Urdu accent – Yes, I am proud of it ….although I must admit it has suffered a lot thanks to the junk they speak now adays….kitna bachay ….!!!

    Urdu`s problem is confounded by the fact that a very small percentage of people can claim it as their mother tongue and although, it’s great that most of the Pisser-e-Zameen are speaking in Urdu (especially the middle classes) what saddens me is the treatment of Urdu by Sindhis ….For what I see now Bollywood has taken over the task for permoting Urdu then anyone else in India (although there’s an argument that it’s Hindi….to me it’s Hindustani…)

  16. barristerakc on December 15th, 2008 @ 3:59 pm

    Kabirdas as for your questions,

    I) I use Pisser-e-Zameen for the rest of the Pakistan (excluding Mohajirs)….

    II) I am grateful to Punjabis for there outstanding work for Urdu as compared to Sindhis who although started communicating in Urdu but still consider Urdu as a threat

    III) Then, how could I forget the criminal silence of Punjabis over the Serb style genocide cum ethnic cleansing of Mohajirs in nineties? No-One in Punjab & NWFP spoke up against the extra-judicial killings of Mohajirs and that criminal silence is the cause of my anger. I know there are people in Punjab and NWFP who glorify the genocide against Mohajirs – it was called, “Operation Clean Up” as if we were “rats, insects, shit” ….

    Interestingly, I met folks like Mannu Bhai, Hasan Nisar & Nazir Naji over years – people from Punjab who are if not identical but closer to be ideologically and I had always question as to why they kept silent over the genocide? They are guilty (good people) but I know other’s in great majority who want another genocide to take place of Mohajirs and that’s sad…..I am in a process of writing a book named, “the 5th Identity” (registered) for this reason alone…

    I am not a fascist nor am I a racist; I have friends who are from Punjab, NWFP, Sind and Balochistan whom I could die for and I mean it.

    But you see, I am oppressed, suppressed, dishonored, desecrated, sullied and tainted systematically with official patronage – where should I go? They call me Panahguzeer, Hindustora, Mutarwa… I am neither! I am just an ordinary Mohajir…

  17. khaled90 on December 15th, 2008 @ 10:42 pm

    Talibanization started by Altaf and Co is getting worst day by day. Yesterday it was not a good day in most of areas in Karachi due to clash between pathans(MQM’s talibans) and MQM. Earlier

  18. khaled90 on December 15th, 2008 @ 10:42 pm

    Taliban in Pakistan can’t be called even humans.

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