We, the Karachi wallas, have gotten used to the atrocities committed in our city in our name. Yet, as citizens, we do nothing and try nothing.

Plastic bags, excrete and people peeking pan are some other issues which need urgent attention. Otherwise, this beach would soon resemble Lyari naddi.

First, he won’t get any license. PPP wants all Sindhis, mostly un-educated and belonging to interior, to do everything. From sweepers to customs officers at port, to PIA’s various GMs, and the President of the god-damn country.

If in case he gets the license, he will do lot of things.

For one, he will not allow CNG rickshaw to remain green for ever. He will turn it into red blood with various slogans and his huge portraits, made white using extra box of talcum powder.

Non-Mohajirs won’t be allowed to sit in his CNG rickshaw. He will only allow Mohajirs to sit behind him (he likes everyone behind him!) He will also not use the traditional peep peep horn. In fact, he will use mulla-style speakers and blare MQM-zindabad slogans as he weaves his way across the city. His CNG Rickshaw will also not look like a CNG Rockshaw but more like a donkey fitted rickshaw. (Most of his party looks like a bunch of donkeys). And his CNG rickshaw will not climb the many idiosyncratic flyovers his assistant, Mr. Mustafa Kamal, has built around the city. So he being Altaf Hussain will flatten most of them much to the determinant of the city and its exploding population.

Altaf Hussain being Altaf Hussain will also not allow Pushtun-run buses to ply the city without harassing them. He will make sure that his red-blood CNG Rickshaw is always parked in front of their mini-buses. He will also try and poke Pushtuns and will try and provoke them. This will cause massive blood-shed in the city and Altaf Hussain being Altaf Hussain would ask all Mohajirs to carry arms so that they may protect themselves from the ‘terrorists’ Pushtuns. Thereafter, all CNG Rickshaws would be snatched at gun-point and other points from other drivers, painted red, with MQM flags installed and Altaf bhai portraits flashing with dark face and elephant white teeth. Then all these red-painted rickshaws will move behind Altaf Bhai’s rickshaw and will stop whenever he gives his comic speech to the millions of bhais and sisters of the city. (Meri behnoon tumhara kia, mein janoon mera Rickshaw janay).

Altaf Hussain is requested to remain in London and die there and not become the CNG Rickshaw driver in the city of Quaid-e-Azam. We can do without Altaf bhai riding the red-blood rickshaw. God Willing.

By Nayel Noorani

KARACHI: Two studies conducted by faculty and students at the Aga Khan University into the attitudes toward suicide bombing among educated people in Karachi and in the tribal areas showed surprisingly divergent results.

Fifteen percent of participants in the Karachi-based study supported suicide bombing and said that Islam and other religions supported it. This raised a heated debate among the participants of a concurrent session during the 12th National Health Sciences Research Symposium at the Aga Khan University on Wednesday, some of whom, with backgrounds in Psychiatry, felt that those who become suicide bombers almost invariably suffer from psychiatric disturbances.

Professor Abdul Wahab Yousafzai, who conducted the study in the tribal areas of Pakistan, showed that those surveyed strongly believed that religion should influence political thinking (88 percent), that it is important for Muslims to live in an Islamic state (76 percent), but that suicide bombing is not legitimate for Muslims (80 percent) and that suicide bombing is not the result of Islamic fundamentalism (68 percent). At the same time, 83 percent said they did not support suicide bombing.

Whereas the study conducted in Karachi by students Faraz Kazim and others showed that 15 percent supported suicide bombing and 84 percent believed suicide bombing is the result of religious fundamentalism, while 55 percent believe that suicide bombers have some underlying psychiatric illness.

However, nearly 50 percent of all those surveyed in Karachi believed that suicide bombing was acceptable in Palestine, Kashmir and Lebanon. Commenting on this, Dr Murad M. Khan of the Psychiatry department at AKU said that the likely reason for this belief is partiality toward the underdog in asymmetrical warfare.

At the same time, the Karachi study also showed that 82 percent believe that suicide bombers are religious fanatics, while approximately 60 percent feel that suicide bombers are relatively uneducated people, who are outcasts from society and who feel frustrated. Some 70 percent say that it is the poorest factions of society that produce suicide bombers.

Dawat-e-Islami was founded in the early 80s by Mualana Ilyas Atar Qadri. He started wearing green turban out of the love of Prophet’s Tomb (PBUH) which is also green in colour. He also asked fellow Muslims to wear Turban as a measure of love. It must be noted that our Prophet has also has worn green coloured turban (evidence: Green turban associated with him is at Badshahi masjid museum).

Dawat-e-Islami believes in strict code of conduct for its adherents. It wishes to see people praying on proper time, paying their zakat, and all the Islamic injunctions that are part of our collective heritage (and tradition). It also feels that the moral backwardness of the Muslim Ummah is due the lack of following of the tradition of tolerance, positive thinking, obeying commands of parents, and respecting elders as well as young ones.

Dawat-e-Islami is presently working in over 60 countries and they regularly send out Madni Kaflas (their internal term for groups of people visiting places to spread the message of Islam). Their main points of interaction are South Africa, Dubai, Mozambique, India, and Central Asian states.

People dis-agree with lot of things which Dawat-e-Islami people do. For one, there is a strong disagreement over the Madni Munaas walk on 9th of Rabi-ul-Awal. As these are only very young kids, people say the entire exercise is un-necessary. Another criticism on them is why they wear Green and not white or black turban. Well, every school has its uniform. Why KGS students don’t wear the uniform of St. Michael’s School and vice versa?

People also associate Dawat-e-Islami with Sunni Tehreek, which is a militant form of Ahl-e-Sunnah Jamat and is just like Wahabi-led Sipah Sahaba. Although Dawat-e-Islami is a Sunni group it has no relation with Sunni Tehreek and its founder, Saleem Qadri, actually broke away from the main group to form his own party.

6 Korean women go missing in Karachi

Staff Report

KARACHI: Six Korean nationals have gone missing in Karachi ever since they arrived from Islamabad, Daily Times learnt Tuesday.

A reliable source in the police department told Daily Times on the condition of anonymity that the six women have been missing since the first week of August. They were identified as Kim Hyung Yam, Park Yun Jeong, Park Hee Jeong, Lee Soon Im, Hwang Eui Hyang, and Lee Yeonhee.

Dr Kyoung Yong Kim, chief of the Korean Mission, wrote the Inspector General of the Sindh Police Sultan Sallahuddin Babar Khattak on August 7, requesting help and better security for Korean nationals. Capital City Police Officer Karachi Wasim Ahmed confirmed the news.

This news items is not good for investors at all and is a serious headache for security agencies responsible for foreigners. An added risk here is of rape and mutilation as all captives are women. Karachi, already reeling from one of the worst economic crises, must not be falling on these issues. It is such news which gets splashed across world headlines and foreign investors gladly turn to India or Dubai.

Now, some history lessons.

I wish to have here listed pre-partition Parsi buildings in Karachi. We know lot of Parsis lived in this city and they did some wonderful construction work. Now, sadly around 2000 odd-Parsis are left and we morn their departure. But we can recall our city’s glorious past and its wonderful builders below. My takes:

1) Mama Parsi school, Saddar.
2) Nusserwanjee Mehta Parsi Maternity Home. Foundation stone was laid on 20th December 1917.

This beautiful yet little known colonial building is situated at Zaib-un-Nisa street, Karachi. It now stands locked up by its owners who live just behind it. In the complex there is the grave of its founder, Khan Bhadur Nusserwanji R. Mehta. He was born on 8th June, 1853 and died on 8th December, 1931.

More buildings to be noted below as comments.

My grandparents (father side) lived in Bahunagar and then Bombay. My grandfather used to have a tea stall which he used to run along with his elder brother, Ahmed. British army was their regular customer and when they came they came in droves and all the war chat would take place there, albeit in English, a language my grandfather never really understood except for the morsels. He also tells me, whenever in good mood, that Hindu banyas were also his prized customers and they would be very rich and very tidy in their manners and style.

Then they came to Karachi, Pakistan.

Unlike many migrants pouring from India by train or walk or by mules, which was always a dangerous thing to do in those bad times, he and his wife arrived by ship. In those old days, ships b/w Karachi and Bombay were very common and lot of people used to rely on them for trade. Thankfully, it wasn’t disconnected after partition. If I can recall it rightly, it took around 7 days for the ship to reach Karachi and vice versa, and the journey was, as they remember, quite emotional but un-eventful. They off loaded in a city which was far cleaner, more managed, having wonderful, big roads and with lot of joggis around for people pouring in. Karachi was then a port city and it was just that. Further, he tells me with a shine in his eyes that the major thoroughfares would be daily washed clean on the orders of Mr. Jinnah, founder of Pakistan and the resident of this city.

I am also told that Karachi had no fear. People were loving and good-natured; Hindus and Parsis were the major businessmen. They had lots of properties and some really wonderful buildings to their credit. Khojas and Memons were also there but in lower number. As migration forced it way, that number eventually rose (that of Gujerati speaking groups) and lots of Hindus fled Karachi fearing for their lives, just as Muslims were doing from across the border.

I am also told that wide roads, (almost) zero pollution and a sense of new found destiny improved public imagination, which in turn helped people in re-building their lives from the scratch.

As more stories come to mind or are related they shall be uploaded here as comments here. Readers are requested to add their own treasures here.

How? Read below.

Musharraf once announced that women shall be equal to men and that they must receive similar respect as men get (which men, he never told us). Therefore, he announced his famous bill, called Women Bill. The bill was a landmark achievement in the face of strong opposition from mullahs and other tullahs of Parliament and Senate. It said, among other things, freedom of expression (sexual, religious, etc). And lo and behold, people were out dating, doing things, touching, touching more, doing more things, and as we shall know after 20 years, doing lot of things not included in the bill.

Well, I am talking about Phase 8 road where one can see lot of cars with black tinted glasses, parked along the beach front and inside a couple doing things from Hollywood.

Once, when I was passing through that road – and I do it often as we are working on DHA Golf Club and Creek Vista – I saw a girl removing her clothes (the back glass wasn’t tinted well) while the boy waited for an exciting moment ahead. At another time, I saw a couple outside their car, standing and almost kissing. I gawked and passed by. Yet another time, I saw that two policewallas were having fun time with a couple; they were probably asking for money and not sex. But policewallas, atleast from the safe distance of the main road, looked quite glad; couple looked as if that was their moment of truth.

I don’t have any shots of the couples doing things but I will have that soon. I have planned to make a documentary, photographic and video, for foreigners to see and realize that we are already very advanced nation. We can have open sex arena with no one objecting; parents are blissfully unaware of their kids’ kartoots.

Relating to my last post, Is Karachi ready for Osama bin Laden, I would like to add that atleast Taliban and Osama bhai won’t allow this to happen and we will be able to INSHALLAH control our population.

MQM chiefs have reportedly informed govt. of Pakistan (aka PPP and lots of coalition partners) that the threat of Talibanization to Karachi looks imminent. Mildly put, it means that we will all be Taliban sporting lot of things you see at National Geographic programs which are on Afghanistan. You will also like to blow up school girls, like Mama Parsi, and other brilliant places of education; you would also like to keep doctors away from your wives (one won’t do); you would also like to throw away your camera as photography is not much appreciated by them (never mind Osama bhai always gives video interviews). You would, if in case we have MQM replaced with Talibans and Al-Qaeda, also have to replace Bhai Altaf’s photographs, posters, and 90 from Karachi. In place of them we would need lots of Osama shots: Osama praying, Osama marrying yet another woman, Osama praying again, Osama tapping suicide bombers, and Osama doing everything else. Lot of printing jobs would be offered, but to those having flourishing beards, amamas (Arabic term for turban), and wives in tow (I think Jamatias will take away all the jobs!)

So, do we need Taliban / Osama bin Laden in Karachi?

One major change which Karachi is likely to see, if that happens, is the destruction of roads. Taliban don’t need much roads. They are hardy mountain people and Osama, an Arab, has now gotten used to tough terrains as well. So, the crazy-ness which our young, happy Nazim shows about building and re-building roads would be gone. As I stated earlier, so would the posters of Altaf bhai pastered with pan peek and niswar decorations. We would also not hear much about road-side muwalis (caste-aways) and charsees (drug addicts); and the wholesale business of Heroin at various Tombs would also go down. Various liquor shops around Karachi, especially at Shahra-e-Faisal and Defence areas, which are really very visible, would also need to shift their business elsewhere, maybe to Lahore. We would also see an end to prostitution which happens openly at Lea Market, Tariq Road and Defence (all phases). We might also see an end to expensive ad campaigns and the stars of Ad agencies and GEO Bhago network would be preaching in masjids called GEO masjids. We might as well see our 25th December replaced with the birth anniversary of Osama’s 33rd child. All in all, it would be fun for some and no fun for many others.

But Osama is not a happy man. He and his Taliban friends like to destroy historical sites (destruction of Bahmian Buddhas built over 100 years and which stood there for over 2000 years), does not like to have Americans and other investors around; he and his Taliban friends also apparently hate games (the execution of prisoners during Taliban time took place in football stadium, Kabul). Osama bhai also does not appear to be a great fan of beaches either. So no night parties anymore.

Oh yes, 90 will surely become 9/11!