“People armed with iron rods were sitting in the common rooms, hitting any and everyone they saw” narrated one of the students. Reports from GEO add that fighting also took place outside the Arts Faculty, near the Administration block; Rangers have reportedly taken 50 students into custody.

Earlier in the day, students from the morning program, particularly all the girls, undertook an immediate emergency evacuation strategy. “We just assume, as a rule, that as soon as any clashes take place all classes are cancelled and you run for home as fast as you can” an apprehensive female class fellow explained to me when I asked her if we should consider taking our Mass Communication class scheduled during the time the clashes first erupted.

It is not clear yet why the clashes started off in the first place, but observers said everything took place at a rapid pace. “We were sitting in the Arts Lobby like we do every day when suddenly we heard a large roar of male students coming from behind us, then one of the AP members screamed to his comrades to get hold of someone in the crowd and before we knew it, everyone was hitting everyone so we just started running for our lives like all the other girls” a petrified class fellow told me on the phone.

I was in main library when all this happened and chaos immediately ensued there as well. “Phadda hogaya, phadda hogaya, sab band karo” screamed the librarian as everyone tried to make sense of what was happening. By the time I had left university at around 1 o clock, I saw several police vans entering the university and a Rangers truck parked just outside the Silver Jubilee Gate. But despite this security was quite shabby as decidedly suspicious looking “students” on motor bikes were seen entering the university.

Such clashes of course are not uncommon at the University, earlier this year academic activities were disrupted for a week when similar clashes between rival groups took a turn for the worse. It is not clear yet which group the dead students belonged to or what the number of injured students are, but one thing is for sure, things will definitely be very volatile security wise for the next few days as rivals may decide to take revenge. Academic activities will, as usual, also be disrupted.

More updates as and when they are received.

Post script: Reporting done by my self and another student who would prefer to remain anonymous. Names of students quoted above have been withheld to protect their anonymity and security.

Update 1 at 9:57 PM: Associated Press of Pakistan quote a university spokesman as saying “firing” took place at the campus in which “some” students sustained injuries. The university has officially been closed down for the next two days.

Update 2 at 10:05 PM: ATV News are putting the causalities at 1 dead and 3 students injured. They also quote Governor Sindh Dr. Ishratulabad who conveyed his sadness over the violence whilst ordering the immediate arrest of those responsible for the “martyrdom” of the student.

Update 3 at 10:29 PM:: Latest news coming in from MQM’s news channel has put the death toll at 4, one of the dead is identified as Syed Mohammad Ramesh, who I believe is a class fellow of mine. I cannot confirm this at the moment, but either way this is extremely depressing. What kind of politics is this?

Update 4 at 10:47 PM:: One more dead identified as security guard Rahim and student Osama. Fresh news coming in also add that some teachers were also injured.

Update 5 at 11:30 PM: Injured taken to Jinnah and Abbasi Shaheed Hospitals, firing outside both hospitals too. NED and Urdu Universities to remain closed tomorrow. Jamiatut Taleebai Pakistan has done a press conference in which they have strongly condemned the clashes, announcing that they will observe a “protest day” tomorrow. 10 of their workers are reportedly missing. Meanwhile, MQM chief Altaf Hussain has strongly condemned the clashes and expressed his grief at the death of APMSO worker and student Ramesh.

Update 5 at 12:00 PM: It is still not entirely clear why the clashes started but I have learned through reliable sources that they may have erupted over “White Day” celebrations. AMPSO students had apparently decided to celebrate their leader Altaf Hussain’s birthday in advance (since it would originally fall in Ramazan) as “white day” after a similar program had been postponed last week because of clashes that also caused the extracurricular activity week (Students Week) to be called off. But the scheduling did not go down too well with Jamiat students, it seems. One source adds that the provocation may have been started by Jamiat workers.

Update 6 at 12:21 PM: A Jamiat sympathizer has revealed a slightly different version of the events. Speaking to a fellow student aiding me in the compiling of this blog post, the Jamiat sympathizer narrated how Jamiat had scheduled a Istabal-e-Ramazan dars today. The administration had already granted them permission for this. Meanwhile APMSO students had scheduled “White Day” for the same day, but their permission request had been denied by the administration. Disgruntled over this, they decided to turn up at the venue of the Jamiat dars and spoil events there. In retaliation, Jamiat started fighting and at least 2 of their workers died in the clashes.

I’m afraid I don’t have power and I’m almost running out of battery on my laptop now so the updates will have to stop here until KESC blesses me again.

Guess away, ladies and gents. Answer will be revealed later tonight.

A flurry of pompous and showy displays by leading student political groups marked early celebrations on the 13th of August, 2008 ahead of the 61st Independence Day here at the University of Karachi. Celebrations centered on at least three major points, one each for the three major political student groups at the university.

Perhaps the largest of these assembled at the all famous “AP Bench” at the Arts Lobby where members of the All Pakistan Muttaida Students Association cracked fireworks, danced to national songs and chanted party and national slogans amidst all sorts of muddled fanfare and screaming girls. The Arts Lobby, which had been imaginatively decorated in green and white prior to the event, resembled a gross hodgepodge of brown and green as the event drew towards its closing stages due to heavy downpours at the campus that brought its fare share of mud and grubby footprints. The rain, however, did not dampen the spirits at all. On the contrary, it inspired another round of bangra and disco from the men, this time in utterly drenched attires, with wet flags draped around their bodies, sending the already hyper excited female audience into complete hysteria.

More sober celebrations were ensued further down the Lobby adjacent to the Economics and Political Science Departments where The Jamiatut Taleba-e-Pakistan had arranged for a special 500 pound cake. Unfortunately, I couldn’t manage to take a picture of the cake, or even the cake cutting ceremony because the timings for this event coincided with another smaller one being conducted at my own department, but from the rush that was witnessed here shortly afterward, it is safe to assume that plenty of people showed up here as well.

Further down the road, adjacent to the main cafeterias, the ruling Pakistan Peoples Party’s student wing the People’s Student Federation had set up their own tented area with a stage. This place was largely disserted when I came here around 10 in the morning, but by noon, when I came here again during the peak of the showers, it was alive with strident Jiye Bhutto and Pakistan Zindabad slogans in between national songs and impassioned speeches.

Smaller events were held separately in many of the Arts Faculty departments, where students performed Independence Day related skits, read poems and of course, sung yet more songs. I’m a big fan of milli naghme too, but man, with Shazia Khushk, Junaid Jamshed and Jamiat vocals all banged into my ears simultaneously via nothing less than loud speakers, at times I really did wonder if I was going to get out of university with my ear drums still intact. Fortunately, I did.

Independence Day celebrations, not just in Pakistan, but throughout the world, are marked by such festivities. Flag raising ceremonies, tributes to national heroes and fireworks, all these things make a big part of how we mark the day we secured our freedom, and I won’t stipulate that there’s anything wrong in having fun either. But somehow, I can’t help stop feeling that without the realization of what this freedom really means such celebrations are rendered merely symbolic, sometimes even superficial and hollow.

And as proof, I can point towards occasions where students were so engrossed in displaying their “emotions” that they kind of missed the whole point behind patriotism. Like when you’re so engrossed in cracking fireworks that you couldn’t care less about taking the adequate safety precautions. Or be so preoccupied with eating your piece of Independence Day cake or mithai that altogether forget to dispose of the empty plates in the trash can. Or easier still, be so overwhelmed by national pride whilst dancing to to Jazaba-e-Junoon that miss it all together how much dirt and mess you’ve created in the process of your dancing, with fliers, postcards and sometimes even flags dragged on a dirty dance floor glazed with fresh mud.

May God open our eyes and bless this country always. Happy Independence Day!

PS: I have lots of photos and videos of the events, but can’t seem to upload them anywhere right now because of hopelessly slow internet connection, as soon as I succeed, I will update this post with media.

The BIEK spokesperson even gave a reason for this. Apparently, yesterday was the Islamiat paper and students normally don’t use unfair means in Islalmiat papers. “Most of the unfair means cases are normally detected on those days when papers of English, Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics subjects are held” he reasoned. Why, what an innocent theory! I wish that was true. Certainly from my recollection of my inter exams (and that wasn’t that long ago so I suppose we can take them to be a sufficient indicator of how things might be right now) cheating was a norm in each and every single paper, including of course, Islamiat. In fact, sometimes the invigilators were themselves either directly or indirectly involved in helping students cheat. It was quite common really, so common that you didn’t even feel uproar about it taking place.

I still remember my shock at seeing such state of affairs the first time I appeared for board exams in 9th grade. Coming from a school were cheating was made impossible by the strictest of examinations environments for even minor class tests, seeing such blatant cheating in board centres quite literally left us in disbelief, especially when on occasions, teachers asked us for answers for objectives so they could help other students!

Of course by the time we’d passed through Metric, moved onto government colleges, tuitions and witnessed what happens in all these places, we realised what we were taught at our school was an anomaly rather than the norm. So by the time we appeared for our intermediates, we had become considerably de-sensitised, some of the opportunists and weak willed amongst even resorted to minor cheating them selves.

By now, as I’m in university and have gained plenty of experience in not only appearing in exams held under public boards but also exposure to all kinds of students in both public and private educational institutions, I’ve pretty much resigned to the accept that honesty is not part of the student’s psyche here. Its okay to put proxy attendance, its okay to cheat, its okay to plagiarise assignments, basically if you have a good end you’re striving for, any means you use to get to that end, are justified. In fact, it’s even noble to “help” some one else’s cause in this respect and if you’re not helping in such causes, you’re branded, a selfish, self-righteous, snob.

There are times when I find this culture of dishonestly quite frustrating and even depressing, especially as it reflects the character of Pakistan’s youth, the generation that’s suppose to take this country forward in the future. Then again, I shouldn’t find this too surprising, after all honesty isn’t part of the Pakistani national character, hardly a surprise that students should lack it too. In the face of all this, I find the BIEK spokesperson’s claim that there wasn’t a single case of cheating today quite unbelievable and frankly, laughable.

Post Script: Well, there you go, so much for Mr. No-name BIEK spokesperson’s claim of everything going along smoothly. Express have a lead story in their Metropolitan section with the headline screaming: “Inter ke imtehanat mein naqal per rokne se do collegon mein hungame“. The report also adds that at least one student was also injured as authorities fail to enforce Section 144. Talk about being in denial. Check out the full report here.

This thing is for looking, look at it again & again
Talk to it, Look at it closer
The head of a human, the body of an animal
This is not real but an illusion.

Image credit: To be revealed with the answer!

Update at 11:58 PM : Sorry about the delay, but as most of you have figured out, the correct answer is of course, Karachi Zoo. Thanks to Umair Mohsin for the image who uploaded it on Flickr yesterday.

I’ve only ever been to the Karachi Zoo once in my entire life, and that too was way, way back when I still in Montessori school. I barely even remember the place, except from pictures we took on that outing. I do however remember reading reports in the papers not that long ago that the zoo wasn’t in particularly good shape, but its heartening to learn (via one of the comments here) that things have improved in recent times. This particular photo was striking, even somewhat disturbing for me, for several reasons, especially as I read the description of the picture Umair provided:

One of the ‘illusionists’ (more like a rip off) at the Karachi Zoo. Seemingly there’s this head of a woman joined to the body of a fox. Once you enter the place, it’s more of a eunuch’s head who’ll request you to extra rupees to talk to him/her.

My first question was, what exactly is an eunuch doing at a zoo (a facility where animals, not human beings, are confined within enclosures for being displayed to the public)? And secondly, what gives anyone the right to describe them as having the “body of an animal” like the poetry near the entrance implies? In fact I’m fairly shocked this hasn’t been caught up by any human rights organization thus far. Or perhaps eunuch estrangement from mainstream society is so accepted a fact that traditional norms of political correctness with regards to gender issues no longer apply on them. Am I missing something here or do others also find this equally disturbing?

On Monday, Daily Times reported he was getting “special treatment” from the State Department because they viewed him as a potential future leader of the country. The report in Monday’s The News was also on similar lines, it quoted CNN’s State Department Correspondent Zain Virje as saying that the mayor of Karachi was a “guest with a mission”. Daily Times also published the full transcript of the interview Kamal gave to Virje, and even though Kamal played down speculation about the purpose of his visit, telling Dawn’s Anwer Iqbal that he had come to the United States to urge American businessmen to invest in his city, speculation is still rife.

According to the Dawn report, some believe that Kamal might have been sent on a mission to “strengthen President Pervez Musharraf” and “build bridges with Pakistan’s future” (unquote Zain Virje). Other reports, Dawn adds, suggest “the US was trying to put together an alliance of like-minded parties to back the next political set-up in Pakistan should the PML-N quit the government”. Interesting theories all these, not sure I can say I sense any ulterior motives too, but these are interesting nevertheless. Here’s what Mustafa Kamal and the State department had to say about the matter (quoting from Dawn):

“It is not my domain,” said Mr Kamal when asked if he was here for talks aimed at strengthening President Musharraf. “I was not here to discuss this sort of things. My role remains confined to Karachi. I had no political talks.”

A State Department spokesman, when asked to comment on Mr Kamal’s meetings with officials at the department, said: “If you are looking for an ulterior motive, there’s none.”

The mayor’s 40-minute meeting with Assistant Secretary Richard Boucher was his only at the State, said the official.

“Mr Boucher talks to a lot of people,” said the official. “They had met in Pakistan a month ago when Mr Boucher visited Karachi. We got word that he was in town, wanted to come by, say hello to Mr Boucher and present an album of his trip to Karachi.”

Mr Kamal also denied having a hidden agenda. “All I can say is that Karachi is a very important city and has a very strategic role to play in Pakistan,” said the mayor. “People are realising Karachi’s importance. We have developed that city and now we are seeking investment.”

He said that the US State Department had helped arrange his meetings with the American business community and officials in various cities. He has already met the mayors of Chicago and Houston and the deputy mayor in Washington. In New York, he has a series of meetings with potential investors and is also meeting the board of directors of the world’s largest stock exchange.

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Plastic bags of all hues, sizes and types continue to be used (and abused through) out the city. In fact, I’m pretty sure that most of the average people of the city are not even aware of the regulation that has outlawed them (now in the whole country and not just the province as per a recent resolution passed in the national assembly). Which is where a big part of the problem lies. While government inaction is certainly a major reason behind the failure of the imposition of this ban, public indifference and apathy towards the environmental ill-effects of plastic bags certainly cannot be left out of the equation. Most people in this city simply couldn’t care less about the environment, combine this with the general disdain with we treat laws with and you have situation where almost any ban becomes completely theoretical. Unless people start caring about the environment and realise that they have a social, legal and moral obligation to use and dispose plastic bags in environmentally responsible ways, it will continue to remain immensely hard to enforce such a ban.

At the same time, I also concede that complete eradication of low-quality plastic bags is not something that can be done overnight (especially keeping in mind the need to create alternative jobs for those in the industry), however I also feel that vested interested of certain people may be causing a hindrance in achieving this. The plastic shopping bag industry is the third top revenue generating industry in the country according to a figure quoted by MNA Khawaja Sohail Mansoor, so there needs to be a phased withdrawal and re-employment plan that needs to be conjured up, but we can’t use this an excuse to show lack of political will to make environment a priority. As I have said before, with so many other problems, the government is clearly not giving too much attention to environmental issues, and while I admit that there are more pressing issues then this one, an attitude that takes the environmental for granted is increasingly perilous and may have disastrous consequences for us in the long term.

To conclude, I’ll put up a link to this photo of the menace plastic bags create, even in one of the so-called “posh” localities of the city from Flickr user Atrophy. The government, law enforcement agencies and all of us as concerned citizens of the state, should reflect on this. Is this what we want our city to continue to look like? And what sort of environment are we nurturing for our future generations in the process of our indifference to this problem?

See Also: 1 and 2

“The government should officially announce two-day holidays on the 11th and 12th or the 12th and 13th of Rabiul-Awwal” he insisted, whilst also calling for “uninterrupted electricity supply during Rabiul Awwal processions”, a “special cleanliness campaign” (as a part of which limestone should be sprinkled at roadsides, footpaths, grounds and garbage-dumping centres he demanded) and “high standards of law and order in the city” which would ironically include accommodations for crowds to proceed in processions without any barriers and prior permissions.

Even keeping aside the irony of his demand of a “high standard of law and order” which gives specific people part of the Rabiul Awwal festivities (although some now border on being gimmicks then festivities) the honor of being above the law, I cannot help but feel absolutely furious at seeing such reports.

Does Mr. Shabbir Abu Talib realise that the academic year has shrunk down to a mere 140 days because of a plethora of vacations, gazetted holidays, exam leaves, weekends, and unscheduled closures? Does he realise that several parts of the city are facing load shedding for as many as thee times a day (so much so that in some parts the total number of hours where power is cut of exceeds the total number of hours where you do get power!)?

Yet still there is the “demand” that there ought to be not one but two official holidays, who cares if this further compromises on on already feeble educational set up? “Uninterrupted power supply” for almighty processions and lighting up of mosques for the entire week approaching 12th Rabiul-Awwal are also entirely necessary despite the acute shortage of power the city faces.

What’s most disturbing is this we do this year after year in the name of our love for the Prophet, peace be upon him. I’d not want to go into a specific debate about the permissibility or otherwise of this event from a purely religious perspective, but I do understand that whatever disagreements their are amongst scholars regarding mawlid celebrations are not about the event it self, but about related “excessiveness”.

Why does our love for the blessed Prophet peace be upon him never extend beyond the festivities of attending processions and milads? Why is it restricted merely to these displays twice a year instead of a more all encompassing incorporation of his sunnah and ways of life into our every day life? Why don’t we ask our selves if the Prophet would have approved of such questionable use of already meager state resources in the name of celebrating his birthday? I’m sure there are better ways in which we can celebrate the life of the beloved Prophet.

Post script: It seems the government has accepted these demands, the Associated Press of Pakistan reports that the Governor of Sindh, Dr. Ishratul Ibad Khan, has announced holidays throughout the Province on 11th of Rabiul Awwal and 12th of Rabiul Awwal, corresponding to Thursday, the 20th and Friday the 21st of March respectively! There you go, two more days taken of the academic calender, just like that.

Image credit: Illuminated pedestrian bridge by Makphoto

Much of what I had been told about the university’s casual, unserious atmosphere stands correct to date, but what I’ve also come to realize, in these three months, is that a lot of this perception of the university’s atmosphere is based on one’s own outlook and expectations of this environment, and in turn, what we do to achieve these expectations. After all, as students of the university, it is we our selves that nurture this “environment”.

Rather sadly though, a large section of the university’s students seem oblivious to this reality. They’re ready to disparage campus violence and uncertainty at the first available opportunity, but all too afraid to do anything that tackles this problem, especially if that means not justifying the activities of certain political groups they may have a soft spot for. They’ll also frown and scorn no end when faced with the often tireless search for a clean, hygienic place to sit in, but find no measure of hypocrisy in casually throwing away trash once they’ve found a relatively dirt-free spot to dwell in. If I had not learned to cherish the other KU beyond this quagmire of hypocrisy and indifference, I’d have been very dejected student indeed.

This is the KU whose points are painfully overcrowded, but the one-foot-inside-rest-of-the-body-hanging-to-whatever-you-can-grab position is an adventure ride to remember. The KU where one may hate the desperados who come to university every day after pouring half a litre of hair gel and who’s favorite and only past time is to stare unstoppably at anything which remotely resembles a female body part, but whose Prem Gali fables are still very juicy to hear. The KU who’s chicken rolls at the canteen opposite the main Mehmood Hussain library may not look like they’re cooked in very sanitary conditions, but they’re always yum! Chats, biryanis, burgers, kachoriyans, halwa and paratha, by god, KU’s canteens must have the best value-for-money food anywhere in the entire city (just Rs. 12 for 2 oily, golden, hot parathas and a handsome serving of halwa and bhujya and Rs. 7 for very nearly the best doodh patti you can hope to have!) I’m afraid I could on and on about the food, but you do get the drift, don’t you? If only they could make this place cleaner (can some one clean the washrooms at least once a week if not more?) and do a general white wash and some basic repairs, it would give it such a big over all face lift.

Moving away from mere appearance, joy rides and food though, this is also a place which offers you a tremendous opportunity to constructively engage with other people. It is such melting pot of diversity that students from all parts of the country and some from even as far away as Somalia in the African continent may all be sitting in the same classroom. On any given day, any casual wait in the all-famous Arts Lobby, may result in one hearing everything from fluent Sindhi, Pashto and Persian, to mixed up English and Urdu. Given the Italian language and cultural centre is near by, you may even come across the odd freshman or two putting together sentences in broken Italian!

As a student who’s just moved here from a largely secluded, somewhat elitist private university, such diversity is not merely fascinating, but an opportunity to broaden the horizons. Never before have have I experienced such erudition about sensitivity to local cultures and ideologies as I have in the last three months! Its one thing arguing away with commentators on an internet message board, quite another studying something like International Relations, or Political Science, in a group where everyone has different political affiliations. Tolerance, as I have learned, is certainly a very big virtue to have in such situations. This, coupled with reason, and you have a very potent brew for meaningful discourse, something that is a pleasant regularity in at least the Arts Faculty classes.

But the nature of such discourse can sometimes become too in-your-face, especially when conducted in an informal, out-of-class setting, where you miss the moderating skills of an experienced teacher. People tend to argue without logic but nevertheless with supreme passion. Politics, though, is not merely confined as a theme of such discussions. Its ubiquitous presence in almost all of the university’s affairs can become quite overbearing for the apolitical, but not politically indifferent, student after a while.

Picture this for instance. At its main entrance, the Golden Jubilee Gate, the monument bearing the University’s name and motto was covered in political graffiti until this Monday, when it was finally wiped off as part of the cleanliness drive pursued because of the arrival of the Governor of Sindh. The main street light in front of this monument is still made invisible by flags of various political parties and a larger than life size election poster bearing a picture of the Pir of London, as Cowasjee calls him. However, in a university where at the time of admissions, a required affidavit proclaiming students non-involvement in any ‘political activities’ is sold by workers of the two predominant student parties themselves, this look of the University façade can hardly be considered something unexpected.

A more attention grabbing image is that of the hoard of juvenile and elderly beggars that have seemingly permanently camped at the Golden Jubilee Gate. One of the older ones has his wheelchair parked on the far left of the gate, from where he frantically calls out at every passer by. The children, in contrast, tend to beg in closely knitted groups, even counting their daily ‘earnings’ together. One of them, namely Savera, happens to be particularly chatty character. One day as I happen to be waiting for my car to pick me up, after some 15 minutes of persistent tries, she ended up narrating most of her life story to me in response to a modest attempt to dissuade her from begging.

Another permanent presence is that of child laborers. Not wanting to beg, this bunch will try to sell you small packets of tissues, or roses, when it’s February, or paper files, anything in short, that they can run a call for “10 rupee ka aik”. One of these lads probably aged 10 or thereabouts, carries around his stock of tissue papers packets in a school bag pack. Beggars and child laborers at gate of city’s largest, country’s 2nd largest public university, a seat of higher learning for one, a symbol of gross inequality for the other: is this an irony, a misrepresentation or just a candor reflection of the wider disparity that’s engulfed this country, I’m not sure I’d like to decide yet.

Because, as I keep discovering, while this visage is certainly unsettling to a great extent, it actually belies the otherwise rich history and tradition the university annals boast of. Its large student strength, distinguished faculty, successful HEC rankings, research credentials and graduates employed in a host of professional spheres, all this points to a system which is functional, and successful to considerable degree. It may appear anachronistic in many respects, but that’s not reason enough to dismiss it entirely. There’s much about this institute that’s wrong, and a lot of this wrong is beyond my capacity as a student to change. But there’s always reason to hope and to cherish the good that is at hand.

Image Credit: Wikipedia, released in the public domain by copyright holder

Late night eating, all night sing-o-thons and tons and tons of functions (there’s this one wedding I know where there were no less then six separate functions, ranging from the mendhi, dholki, mayoon -one each for the bride and groom separately-, the baarat, the valima and in some cases a chohti or a chutti on the fourth or sixth day after the valima!) can all be quite overwhelming after the first few outings. To help you keep a brace with the festivities, here are some handy tips.

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The Wedlock – My People My Land, originally uploaded by TheShorterStory.

For the invitees:

- Invited to several functions of the same wedding? Prioritise. Decide what’s more important to attend, a mayoon or baarat. Think practically, not emotionally, for every function will cost you money in terms of cost of gas/petrol to reach venue and gifts to be given. Ideally, if you are invited to 3-6 functions per couple, pick out 1 or at most 2 functions that you’d attend. RSVP as not attending the others.

- Invited to three separate functions on the same day? Yes, it happens. All the time. Last year, I had three shadis to attend on the 25th. Thanks to the fashionably late style most Karachi weddings take place in, attending any number of events on the same day can be accomplished. For this just call all your hosts and asked them for a realistic time at which dinner will be served. Schedule the event where dinner will be served last as your last outing and the one where dinner will be served earliest as the first. Accommodate everything in between by simply dropping by, saying quick his and hellos, and leaving before eating. Reserve the eating for the first and last event only.

- Carry an umbrella. Karachi’s weather is very unpredictable, it can be bright and sunny all day, but suddenly, it can be pouring as you’re making your way to a shadi. If it starts raining after you’ve reached a shadi, it’s advisable to make a quick head-away before rain gets heavier, traffic gets worse and flooding begins. If it’s starting to rain while you’re still getting ready to leave, call up hosts and check if the function is still on.

- Not sure what to wear on one of the pre-wedding functions? Semi-formal is the norm. Casual can work, but supposedly only with a lot of “make-up” (sorry, this is not my area of expertise). For actual wedding and post wedding functions, do not think beyond formal. And always carry a shawl or sweater, I know you’d want to show off those fancy dresses but you don’t want to freeze either.

- Always call your hosts around Maghrib on the day of the event and ask for a realistic time at which things will proceed. If you’re one of those people who hate waiting for hours and hours for the bride and groom to arrive so dinner can be served and you can leave, this exercise will save you from considerable headache. If you know that a certain family’s events are always late, do not bother turning up at least half and hour after the “realistic” time they tell you to arrive at. And carry some biscuits or other small eatables, just in case food is served past midnight and you don’t want to starve.

For the hosts:

- Want to have your function late? You’re more than welcome to. Just tell everyone, don’t lie on the invitation card. 9:00 PM sharp doesn’t translate at post midnight. Tell your guests on the card that they can have a light snack at their regular dinner time, take a nap, then get dressed and promptly arrive at midnight at your events.

- Oh and yeah, if you’re planning on having those all-night-sing-along things at one of the pre-wedding functions, consider keeping the volume levels on the surround sound stereo system low. Just because you’re having a nice event beside Bon Vista doesn’t mean that people all the way across Bilawal House have to hear what’s going on. Others may be sleeping, praying, studying or just sitting trying to watch TV without wanting to constantly hear background music from Jub We Met.

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Henna, originally uploaded by TheShorterStory.

- Want to have your function on time? You’re more than welcome to again. There’s plenty of things you can do, for a starters, get the eldest person in the family (or the one with most authority) to call all the ladies in the house and give them a Musharraf style mere azeez hum wataon wala khitab. Tell them to get ready by 7, no later, or fear your wrath.

- Second of all, talk to the darned photographer (if you’ve arranged for one that is) and ask him or her to keep things simple. He or she can take their three trillion photos in five zillion ridiculous filmy poses, but all after the main wedding function is over, after dinner has been served and the poor, old guests have left. They don’t need to be kept waiting because you’re still asking the bride to do the hold-your-ear-but-show-your-earring pose.

- If you’re the larki walas, send the larke wales constant reminders to bring the baarat on time. For best results, send one member of your family to the larke wale’s residence so he or she can personally push everyone to hurry things up.

- Also keep a strict eye on the caterers, tell them the local sector in charge is your buddy (even if he isn’t), and if the food isn’t ready by nine you’ll speak to him personally. Also prepare in advance for rain, make arrangements for a standby closed venue, or a water proof overhead tent.

- Finally, call you your close relatives and friends a day before the event and remind that them that the baarat and/or other wedding cruise will leave if they don’t reach by a certain time and dinner wont wait for anyone after its allocated time has reached.

- In short, don’t wait for anything. If you have allocated a time for a certain thing, disregard the fact that xyx guest/family member has not arrived or xyx trivial custom has not been performed. None of this is more important then the dinner being served on time so that your guests can be saved from late-night-eating induced indigestion. Remember, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Enjoy the weddings!

See Also: The Essence Of Time In Light Of Karachi’s Weddings