A Typical Valima

http://karachi.metblogs.com/archives/images/2007/01/V1-thumb.jpgOn the card they mentioned it clearly ” Gathering at 8:30Pm Sharp and Dinner at 9:00Pm Sharp“, The word Sharp got me and I decided to be punctual this time, punctual enough to arrive at 9 O’clock with my mother at the Valima ceremony only to find that the stage was yet to be decorated, the chairs were yet to be arranged and to great us were some people in Dhoti and Banyaan standing at the reception pinned under the load of the a few tables stacked atop one another, balanced on their head, fastened by their arms. My mother instantly taunted me “See how late we are, it looks like every one has already gone home! I told you no one would be here before 10, do you actually think they will miss the sass Bahoo Drama to sit here”. In reply I had nothing to say.

We waited for an hour during which we saw the chairs being arranged, the staged being decorated and the speakers being installed. At about 10 we witnessed the first family ( After us ) stepping in to the venue and then one after the another, by 10:30 there were about 6 families who had made it to the valima and afterwards people started pouring in By 11:30 the hall was full and finally at 11:45 “Sharp” The bride and the groom arrived. They looked so fresh and energetic specially in contrast to us who were foolishly being punctual were now tired, bored and starved to death. The newly wedded couple made their self comfortable on the stage and after another good half an hour or so the moment every one had been waiting for finally arrived.

It was around 12:30 when dinner was served but by then people had lost their cool and were so hungry that they actually pounced at the tables which were serving the food. There were hands in the dishes and spoons fighting for a fill of rice as if they were blood thirsty swards and people pushing each other to fill their platter so full that they had small hills of meat balanced on their palms.

http://karachi.metblogs.com/archives/images/2007/01/Fight-thumb.jpg
When the crowd calmed down a little, I filled my platter with of a piece of chicken and some Biryani which was enough to over feed me for the night. About 10 minutes later and by the time I was not even done finishing off what little I had in my platter, there was another riot, this time it was for the tea. For the first time in my life I though I shall join the crazy people only to experience what it is like to push my way in for food, so I grabbed a cup for my self and pushed my way in but stopped when I saw suited gentle men, Old people, women and children all struggling to get some tea out of that one single faucet, crushing the cups of one another, not letting any one have what they haven’t got yet, they were fighting for a cup full of tea. I again gathered some courage and tried to push my cup under the tap but, I couldn’t push away that old man’s cup and then came that lady, when I finally decided to get in again I got tea all over my hand and all over shoe but my cup remained as dry as it was when it got packed at the factory. I finally came back to my senses and decided to return to my seat without any tea because I had no intentions of fighting and all getting soaked up in tea.

At 1:40 in the morning mother and I were in our car, half way to home when while talking I asked my mom, ” Ami, don’t you think people are becoming more violent every day trying to rip apart one another just for a cup of tea, this is exactly how we are in real life violent aggressive and selfish” and mom nodded sadly saying “Allah Hum Per Reham Karay”.

15 Comments so far

  1. Cy (unregistered) on January 9th, 2007 @ 11:57 am

    That fuzzy picture of the tea fight is priceless.


  2. Farhan (unregistered) on January 9th, 2007 @ 12:01 pm

    Bhai kis ne kaha ta ke time par jao , hamesha go 2 hours late then the sharp time cause half the people close their shops at 10 , then get home and get ready for the shadi . I have been to some Walima where they start at 9 pm sharp , yes khana opena at 9 but then people complain maza naheen aaya , aao khao jao yeh koi shadi hai , hum kisi hal mai khush naheen


  3. MB (unregistered) on January 9th, 2007 @ 12:28 pm

    @Jamash:
    Nice post by the way. The issue badly needed to be highlighted. Make sure you start your shadi & valima on time & give every one a shock. You can in fact save a lot of money, if you know what I mean…lolz. Also if every one has decided to be dheet by not reaching on time, you are equally dheet & do a jihad of your own. This formula initially may put you in trouble but people over the years do realize your thinking & they try to follow it. Well done.

    At times I prefer avoiding events, even if the person is a close one where i expect time won’t be followed. It’s easy for me to be blunt & sarcastic on why I did not attend his/ her party/event/ceremony than wasting my time. After all I am the one who is right. Exceptions due to emergency issues do come every where in the world. Keep that aside. But you need to be a little rigid at times if you want others to respect your time. The first time you will be labeled nakharay wala but gradually people will come to know your way & will respect your time.

    Also i know the shadi & valima thingy are fast becoming boring fashion shows. I better watch American pie 5 then acting like a stupid statue waiting for others to come. Those who have free time can go there late or very late but I won’t. If eating is what they have called me for, my mother does that at home better than anyone. People may argue about the fact that its one time in life that one gets marry & bla bla but also its one time in life that some one can get into serious trouble. A close relative after coming late from a shadi found that their bungalow had been used as a guest room by daakku’s..

    Also, every accusation should not go onto shaadi walay people. There is a cumulative social mentality here which forces the shadi walay people to start things late because if the khana is ready on time & guest arrive late it will be wasted but i know a close fellow Zulfiqar who managed his elder brother’s marriage 2 years back & It was the best of the shadi’s ever. Although it was a big one but was simple, on time, properly managed, beautifully decorated. Those who came late had to curse themselves coz I know this guy doesn’t give a shit when it comes to punctuality. We left home at 9:00pm & were back at 12:30am. This is the culture we need to develop. At times the punctuality attitude lands you in trouble on big occasions. Others think as you consider yourself some thing special but eventually they & not you will change, believe me. It also depends upon home culture. My dad, if I am 5 minutes late gives me a 5 hour lecture so I have to make sure I reach before time. I left my job interview when the company did not follow it. I gave them application telling them that my interview time was such & such & I had arrived after taking an hour’s leave from my boss & scheduled time is over now & I don’t give a shit to a company which doesn’t value my time. It cost me temporarily as I missed a good chance but GOD gave me an even better opportunity later on. So you be dheet but bear consequences or be like all others. The choice is yours.


  4. mansoor (unregistered) on January 9th, 2007 @ 1:42 pm

    lol! all my sympathies buddy!!


  5. Arsalaan Haleem (unregistered) on January 9th, 2007 @ 1:45 pm

    Jamash, why in the first place you bothered to go to a valima or even a shadi for that matter??

    Yaar, next time, find some other event to go, where at least you get some ‘decent’ treatment.


  6. Adnan Siddiqi (unregistered) on January 9th, 2007 @ 1:48 pm

    Intrestingpost but I think you had another option, quit at 10.00PM rather waiting for dinner or you just wanted to make this post? :-)


  7. Imran Zahid (unregistered) on January 9th, 2007 @ 5:39 pm

    Interestingly enough Jamash post and MB reply both are very good.

    Years back when my dad said that my family members wedding will be on time, means on time the arrival, dinner and departure everything, and people were like “jee kehta har koi hai attay saray 11 bajay hee hain” (“everyone says it but all come at around 11”)
    and my dad just nodded and kept his punctuality and didn’t give a damn whether the person has come or not… and those coming late were greeted by my dads sarcastic look when they realized that they are actually coming so late that the dinner time is nearly up …

    now years later with many weddings under his wing people know that when dad says on time he actually means on time and thus they come on time also … at first it was like what did my dad do didn’t wait for people to come and this and that … but actually he is right and people should get this message that there are a few who are punctual and time is worth more than money …


  8. MB (unregistered) on January 9th, 2007 @ 6:07 pm

    @Adnan ; lolz, zarori hai usko daantna ?


  9. Poo Poo head (unregistered) on January 9th, 2007 @ 6:40 pm

    Jamash it was certainly your fault. You should had left party by 11 o clock and also should had left a note for family that you were there on time but definitely you had other plans so you could not wait any more. It was certainly your fault that you accepted that attitude. If only 10-12 people do this every party, we could force people to atleast think about it. Why we have to wait till our marriages to enforce people to come on time. Why not try _NOW_ ??


  10. Adnan Siddiqi (unregistered) on January 10th, 2007 @ 12:11 am

    mb nahi bhai mey kia aur meri majal jo dantoun :-). Agar me iski jaga hota tu yehi karta but mera khyal me hanif rajput ki arrangment thee isi liye ye ruka raha :-)


  11. Kaash (unregistered) on January 10th, 2007 @ 12:42 am

    “the chairs were yet to be arranged and to great us were some people in Dhoti and Banyaan standing at the reception”

    I think you meant GREET…neways great storytelling dude I luved it.


  12. SK (unregistered) on January 10th, 2007 @ 1:04 am

    I remember at my sister’s wedding invitations we stated sharp, the function started at 7:45 pm sharp, the nikah at 8:00 pm and dinner was served at 8:30 pm. The rukhsati was done at 10:00 due to photosessions and all the formalities of a typical Pakistani wedding. About 300 guests were invited of which 200 arrived just before the rukhsati:D, and guess what? They complained that why did we start on time!!! Such is the attitude of the people of this country.

    P.S. This was about three months ago in October 2006.


  13. SS (unregistered) on January 10th, 2007 @ 1:28 am

    KAASH, you meen “loved it” ? :)


  14. MB (unregistered) on January 10th, 2007 @ 12:36 pm

    @Adnan : lolz, hahahah… nice


  15. Raheel (unregistered) on January 14th, 2007 @ 2:30 pm

    Mufta Khors. Shameless people as if they don’t get any tea at their homes.



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