Survival Guide to Karachi

The one thing which seems to be missing from the bookstores or online materials is a ‘Survival Guide’ for people visiting Karachi! Something which lays out the law of the land and tells outsiders what to expect.

So why not make one!

In a land where survival of the fittest seems to be the mantra, and personal rights are still a distant dream, just how does one manage to survive if coming for a visit or relocating to this great city.

Discuss!

26 Comments so far

  1. Kashif (unregistered) on August 8th, 2007 @ 12:33 pm

    Hire a platoon of personal guards that comes with automatics and double cabin vehicles.


  2. Teeth Maestro (unregistered) on August 8th, 2007 @ 12:42 pm

    Rule # 1 – When in Karachi carry the crappiest phone so that just in case you get mugged the robber will have sympathy on you and maybe give you a better replacement.


  3. mansoor (unregistered) on August 8th, 2007 @ 12:58 pm

    doc! that so doesn’t work!

    you dont get a replacement, chances are you’d get a chamat right across your face! worse case scenario, you’d get a bullet somewhere :S


  4. asa (unregistered) on August 8th, 2007 @ 1:28 pm

    contact with any sector in charge give him bhatta (khi visa fee) then safe to travel Karachi


  5. IUnknown (unregistered) on August 8th, 2007 @ 2:06 pm

    also , u neeed to buy a bullet proof.


  6. BitterTruth (unregistered) on August 8th, 2007 @ 4:18 pm

    Get the ultimate safety package from the Don of Edgeware in London.


  7. amin polani (unregistered) on August 8th, 2007 @ 4:51 pm

    Donot follow lanes on the road ( most of them dont have), red means go on a signal, dont take panga with W-11 drivers when you see them behind give them way, donot go to sea view on sunday, donot think mineral water is safe, keep money in socks, try out student biryani and take ENO after it, shops and offices open after 10, always attend weddings around 12,wear dark pant so to aviod visible stains of paan ki peek…


  8. Bolshevik (unregistered) on August 8th, 2007 @ 5:36 pm

    LOL @ Amin’s list. Spot on! :D


  9. Ahmed (unregistered) on August 8th, 2007 @ 8:54 pm

    @amin
    why not go to seaview on a Sunday?


  10. Jamal Shamsi (unregistered) on August 8th, 2007 @ 9:55 pm

    do not shave, donot comb, donot polish shoes, act sober, wear smart and people will stay away :) trust me that how the “agency people” survive karachi :)


  11. bika (unregistered) on August 9th, 2007 @ 12:02 am

    1.never ever consider taking a rikshaw or cab by the ‘meter’ and get a pair of oversize shades for those windy rikshaw rides.

    2.bargain bargain bargain! from the sabziwalas to ur darzees..do bargain!

    3.if ur driver says ‘my mother’s passed away please lend me some money for the funeral’..investigate! mine had his die twice.


  12. Ahmed (unregistered) on August 9th, 2007 @ 12:09 am

    Follow the rules, drive in your lane, give to the poor, wear a seat belt, do not run signal lights, be kind to others, smile, do not honk, do not give “Bharams” to everyone, do not walk like a “waday’ra”, maintain a decent note, do not cut infront of people.


  13. amin polani (unregistered) on August 9th, 2007 @ 8:28 am

    well sunday because the sea view becomes no sea view because you can see only people.
    – donot wear a helmet on a bike,
    – respect Edhi ambulances give them way as our road dont have emergency lanes and you can be one of them in the ambulance
    – keep watch out for 1000 rupess as they are plently jaali notes
    – try Fresco Halwa puri on sunday morning
    – yes there are no toilets in public places so leak before you leave
    – No places for women for prayers in mosques
    – dont try to act smart with a mobile snatcher or youll atleast get a thapper.
    – admit in college and join a coaching center you will get through
    – On 14th August clifton is band for public so dont act smart.
    – you can act smart by giving treat to friends on 14th august on boating basin youll save money as all close around 7
    – Love karachi as we this city loves you all —-


  14. amin polani (unregistered) on August 9th, 2007 @ 8:28 am

    well sunday because the sea view becomes no sea view because you can see only people.
    – donot wear a helmet on a bike,
    – respect Edhi ambulances give them way as our road dont have emergency lanes and you can be one of them in the ambulance
    – keep watch out for 1000 rupess as they are plently jaali notes
    – try Fresco Halwa puri on sunday morning
    – yes there are no toilets in public places so leak before you leave
    – No places for women for prayers in mosques
    – dont try to act smart with a mobile snatcher or youll atleast get a thapper.
    – admit in college and join a coaching center you will get through
    – On 14th August clifton is band for public so dont act smart.
    – you can act smart by giving treat to friends on 14th august on boating basin youll save money as all close around 7
    – Love karachi as this city loves you all —-


  15. zee (unregistered) on August 9th, 2007 @ 9:49 am

    AVOID coming to Karachi unless of course, you are looking for some dangerous adventure :)

    Peace :D


  16. Concerned (unregistered) on August 9th, 2007 @ 9:22 pm

    Khi isnt as bad as ppl make it out to be. Its actually a very decent place to live.

    I have actually lived in 4 countries and two of them are in the civilised world, but I still prefer living in khi.


  17. Syed Johny (unregistered) on August 11th, 2007 @ 11:25 am

    hmm!! wow!!

    To think that we blame others for creating a bad image of the city !!!

    While we the residents are whiming like this ! then they (International and national media) are not wrong in portraying Karachi as if it was a part of Baghdad!


  18. Syed Johny (unregistered) on August 11th, 2007 @ 11:30 am

    hmm!! wow!!

    To think that we blame others for creating a bad image of the city !!!

    While we the residents are whiming like this ! then they (International and national media) are not wrong in portraying Karachi as if it was a part of Baghdad!


  19. MB (unregistered) on August 11th, 2007 @ 11:37 am

    TM , lash . hahahahaha. you couldn’t get it better than this , i repeat :-

    “Rule # 1 – When in Karachi carry the crappiest phone so that just in case you get mugged the robber will have sympathy on you and maybe give you a better replacement”


  20. Concerned (unregistered) on August 11th, 2007 @ 10:15 pm

    And all those ppl who luv Fresco ka Halwa puri have it at 5.30 in the morning at Fresco, it tastes better when you eat it right after they are done cooking it.

    Also something abt the morning light and smell which makes it a lot better.


  21. Brittle Brunette. (unregistered) on August 11th, 2007 @ 11:32 pm

    Lived all my life in Karachi,,relocated just 2 years back,but even a short trip down there…..had my months of peace rolled up right in front of my eyes…my eyes become my ears,my ears twisted inside the lobes,and try ..uh hell they try not to take everything people saying,any close to the heart..no doubt i love my city,but sure thing u need some tips for a safe trip; so here goes few;
    ..while in karachi smile nicely at those smiling at you, and act snobbish in front of those’ burger wanna be’
    ..donot take words from anyone, try to find motive behind the fake smile,
    ..learn to talk,diplomatically,act hypocritically,and learn to recognise hypocrisy..
    ..if u r an expat visiting home,learn to save your pocket,and learn hard how to save urself from the “sweet robbery” of your dear aunty jan,nice and naughty neices n nephews,sugary sweet bhabhi jan, piari piari nands,and salis(sis in laws)etc.
    ..donot ever tell any one about your big dreams,ambitions,accomplishments,and most of all, ur investments….try to keep ur things secret,coz as long as they are,they r safe,once out, they’ll start crying abt their sad tales, unfairness of life etc etc..and you’ll end up being sorry of what u were feeling all good abt ..
    more is yet to come..believe me…the wounds r yet to heal..


  22. Sam (unregistered) on August 12th, 2007 @ 12:31 am

    Karachi, my birthplace, my beloved city. I love it dearly in spite of all the nuisances which it carries in its ever welcoming arms. A place which welcomes you with an open heart… It hurts when I read so many bad things about this Gharib Parwer city. Well, life is tough sometimes, but who is responsible? Not Karachi, but those who come to plunder it… They get money, fame, possessions, but no one is willing to give back any goodwill to my Karachi.. Lately it has become so fashionable to make fun of Karachi’s problems which are a result of over crowding, mismanagement and selfishness on behalf of all of us… It is we who are squandering the resources… it is we who have no loyalty for this lovely city whose body and soul are tattered by those who treat it as a hen which hatches golden eggs… Everyone is trying to grab the golden eggs but no one is interested in the welfare of the poor hen…
    So please try to do something for the survival of Karachi… Fulfill your civic duties, love this city, and then your own survival will become much easier, much pleasant, and much safe.


  23. Sam (unregistered) on August 12th, 2007 @ 12:43 am

    Karachi, my birthplace, my beloved city. I love it dearly in spite of all the nuisances which it carries in its ever welcoming arms. A place which welcomes you with an open heart… It hurts when I read so many bad things about this Gharib Parwer city. Well, life is tough sometimes, but who is responsible? Not Karachi, but those who come to plunder it… They get money, fame, possessions, but no one is willing to give back any goodwill to my Karachi.. Lately it has become so fashionable to make fun of Karachi’s problems which are a result of over crowding, mismanagement and selfishness on behalf of all of us… It is we who are squandering the resources… it is we who have no loyalty for this lovely city whose body and soul are tattered by those who treat it as a hen which hatches golden eggs… Everyone is trying to grab the golden eggs but no one is interested in the welfare of the poor hen…
    So please try to do something for the survival of Karachi… Fulfill your civic duties, love this city, and then your own survival will become much easier, much pleasant, and much safe.


  24. Sam (unregistered) on August 12th, 2007 @ 1:22 am

    Karachi, my birthplace, my beloved city. I love it dearly in spite of all the nuisances which it carries in its ever welcoming arms. A place which welcomes you with an open heart… It hurts when I read so many bad things about this Gharib Parwer city. Well, life is tough sometimes, but who is responsible? Not Karachi, but those who come to plunder it… They get money, fame, possessions, but no one is willing to give back any goodwill to my Karachi.. Lately it has become so fashionable to make fun of Karachi’s problems which are a result of over crowding, mismanagement and selfishness on behalf of all of us… It is we who are squandering the resources… it is we who have no loyalty for this lovely city whose body and soul are tattered by those who treat it as a hen which hatches golden eggs… Everyone is trying to grab the golden eggs but no one is interested in the welfare of the poor hen…
    So please try to do something for the survival of Karachi… Fulfill your civic duties, love this city, and then your own survival will become much easier, much pleasant, and much safe.


  25. kashif (unregistered) on August 12th, 2007 @ 11:46 am

    Karachi is an amazing city. The only true metropolis of Pakistan. Which large city in the world doesnt have problems. If anything remember New York in the eighties when some one would not be considered a true new yorker untill they were mugged at least once.

    Yes we have problems we are a large city and we wil have to solve them ourselves. First thing is to stop maligning your own city. The fact that it is as big as it is and is part of a country that doesnt work very well it is a miracle in itself that things do actually run to a point that the city is the backbone of a 160+ million country’s economy. A no small feat.

    The only way the city will get better is when its residents stand up for their rights.

    Karachi will always remain the Queen of the East.


  26. Osman (unregistered) on August 13th, 2007 @ 7:13 am

    Step out in the evenings generally… and whatever anyone tells you, its actually safe to drive around late night. The safest time to be out is when there is hardly anyone on the streets. Trust me on this. The fact is, our thieves and other criminals are lazy- they can’t stay up late nights or be active at that time because they’re mostly partying at nights or fast asleep. I swear this is no joke. Break-ins, car theft, mobile snatches….all happen in the daytime and early evening.



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