Be the Change !
It was a 13- 15 year old girl, standing on a narrow walkway by a crowded pharmacy right opposite Ashfaq manorial Center, waiting for her mother to return with the medicines. I spotted two men, probably masons, they had their tools in their hand, walking towards this girl, their unfriendly gaze, fixed on her. She panicked, and tried to press herself to the wall so to give these men space to pass by her without getting near to her while they kept walking with broad chests, dead center of the aisle. As they walked closer, and were about to pass by her, I moved quickly forward them from the opposite side, looking at these men right in the eye, there was anger on my face. I was truly going to retaliate only if they would have made one wrong move, but as soon as they saw me approaching them from the opposite direction their posture suddenly changed, they suddenly moved their eyes downwards, they walked away from the girl and quickly past me, while i continued to follow them with my angry gaze.
in the mean while the girl’s mother too was back from the medical story, and now they were walking away to get a rickshaw for their next destination.
if you may have realized, i am not at all a well built person, actually i am quite skinny, and was no match for these culprits, but what scared them was the feat that if i could have raised alarm, and the shop keepers and passers by would probably have beaten the crap out of him.
people keep asking me how they can bring a change in the society, i tell you, It takes not much to do so, if you want to see a change, the next time you spot a man gazing a women, ask him out loud what his problem is. If you are a men looking at this culprit alone will be enough to get him back to his senses. Be the change you want, feel and take the responsibility of the society you are a part of, and you will see the change coming.
Kudos, mate. We need more people like you. It’s a disgrace that in our society, a (technically) democracy in this day and age, a girl still can’t walk outside safely by herself. God knows what might have happened if you weren’t there. And anyway it’s really irresponsible on the mother’s part to leave her daughter outside like that especially in such a public place.
If we all do a little, we can do a lot.
This is an exemplary stuff.
Allah will reward your for this. We shall all be vigilant and daring around us, – in recent past I have visited many many mosques in PATHAN localities of Karachi, reason could be any but i managed to send across the message, Ghayrat is about protecting innocent from SHAR, not in hiding your woman & young boys inside walls and raping other’s boys & women be it by NIGAH, or physical action as public Groin scratching by MEN who come to Karachi in search of ROOZGARS.
Let us all politely send message across, A MAN is MAN who can control his Anger, Desire & SHEHWAT from public display, not acting like an animal which is without any AQAL & SHAOR
Way to Go! This city needs more ppl like you. Being a casual bystander just shouldn’t cut it. Somehow the objectification of women still remains an major nuisance because it hasn’t been catered to in the masses upbringing or education.
i waiting on shara-e-faisal…so that i can give the same angry/fiery/blazing gaze to mr xyz vvip…so that for the next time they behave….but i wonder if they peak and gaze at us morsels with the same unfriendly manner from their tinted glass window….and u can make fun of me for that…..
and that vvip thing is actually V.v.i.p.
Great job man, we need people like you, and we need to change ourselves,
Excellent work buddy!!! If everyone follow this example, all these selfish MF rulers of our country will eventually vanish.
the next time you spot a man gazing a women, ask him out loud what his problem is
Do you have any idea how many times now we have to ask out loud those ill-mannered and uncouth Pakistani men why they are staring at those poor, sehmi sehmi, dari dari, khofzadah khofzadah ajnabi girls/women?
Forget those 13-15 year old girls, can you imagine how do I feel when I see cheap Paki men starring at my just 11 year old niece. These people are sick buddy.
Odin, I know that is why i say that we have to stand against this notion, and break the silence.
Only solution for such builshits to to clean up the city from from such bastards.
Well done Jamash, I respect you for what you did.
Excellent stuff, indeed eye opener for loads of guys like me, We should stand and protect women of our society.
However i tend to think another aspect of it as well, there are some responsibilities lies on women as well, they should dress appropriately, young girls & women with little to hide & skin tight clothing give direct invitation for gazing, they perhaps consider herself close to Aishwariya or Madhuri when guys scratch their manhood symbols all around.
Thier is an element of showoff in women which is a huge factor of this problem.
Modesty and decency would help long way.
What Exactly do you mean when you say “protect women of our society”, they are not your property please, i am telling you to stand up against what ever wrong one sees in the society,
and Secondly If a girl is wearing something which is showing a bit of skin does not give these sick men a right to Gaze at them, pass derogatory remarks or be offensive with them.
and i have seen a lot of men on Sundays dressed very indecently on teh beach, with their shawalrs and low cut, two size smaller hardly hiding their butts, why we never call that indecent ? Why are we so quick at passing judgments at women, telling them what to wear and how to be so men can behave ..
You are a Super Man!! Very well done. I believe, not only men but also women should speak up against street or any sort of harassment they have to face. Perpetrators should know they aren’t going to get away with it always!
@Rehan4
I totally agree with you, modesty and decency does go a long way but even if a woman is not modestly dressed, it doesn’t give others license to eve-tease. Other than this, from my personal experiences, I tell you that a women can’t escape ogling and eve-teasing even if she is covered from head to toe.
What does it mean by ‘eve-tease’?
I guess women should be free to dress what ever they want, and I should be allowed to look at what ever I want – within tameez kaa daairah. Women are of course, permitted -and in Balma’s case – encourged – to get out of tameez-kaa-daairah.
Any thing more than this will lead to burquas, chaaders, and this new biddat called ‘hijaab’. Aik achhay kahaasay romantic lafz – hijab – kaa baiRah gharq kar diyaa hae kambakhat maaray mulaao’n nay.
and, please, don’t tell me that women are not checking men out. Ask me:-)
I have often been subjected to those piercing gaze of women! Sometimes, I believe these women were undressing me with their eyes!
Kyaa ab assee bhee burqua pehen kar phirai’n?
Balma beleive’s in – you can look at it, but you can’t touch it – unless you have an invitation!
Covered head-to-toe per, Pakizah kaa yeh dialogue assee ko yaad a gayaa hae!
“aap kay paoo’n bohut khoobsurat hai’n”
No wonder Auntie Farhat Hashmi types encourage women to wear gloves and socks even in 100 degree centigrade!
Puranay zamanay mae jub hamaari aurtai’n burqua pehnaa kartee thee’n tou dil vaalay khwaateen kay paoo’n dekh kar oun kay peechhay chalnay lagtay thay, keh bhai jub paao’n itnay sundar hai’n tou……I have heard of at least one such story ending in marriage when a Bengali uncle of mine followed a panjabi hakeem’s burqua posh daughter (auntie) to his home one day and asked for her hand just becuase she saw her feet and thought that the whole package must be beautiful too. Hakeem Sahib said, laRkaa honihar aur shareef hae, baat pakee kar dee. Both are dead now.
So covering women, and handosme men like Balma, will not work. We have to stay within tameez kaa daairah:-)
@Rehan4
Even if a woman goes out butt-naked it’s up to you to decide whether you want to ‘lower your gaze’ or not if you really are so ‘naik and mazhabi shurfa’.
But really, there are men in our society who simply needs to have their jewels cut off – like the ones Odin mentioned ogling his 11-year-old niece.
@Jamash
Proud of what you did, mate!
Bro I Already Do That!
And thats excellent what you did mate!
I have a personal rule to always stare witheringly harsh at any man looking strangely at a woman.
I give them the most evil stare possible.
9 times out of 10 they look away after noticing me. The other 1 time out of 10, they pretend I’m not even there and change the direction of their stare to some inanimate object. LOL.
Guys calm down and think literally, society is a combination of evils and angels, so for angels your theory is right in expecting even naked girl untouched, however there are some freaks out there having little control over the call of nature, so why you want to put yourself in the hands of those freaks.
@Jamash: “they are not your property”, did i said this ?? do you only protect your property ?? if i fight for my country it became my property ?? do you even understand plain english ??
By “modesty and decency” i mean not very inviting outfit, i am not asking for Burqa or hijjab hence completely agree with Balma’s “tameez kaa daairah” .
Even in so called civilised country like UK & USA where law is very strict, hundreds of rape cases reported daily and many more not reported at all. Why ?
Why women deliberately wants to put man under pressure by wearing inviting dress, even a most decent guy have to “Control his desire” hence making extra effort in avoiding gaze. A decent dress from a single women would help hundreds of men.
As a women you can’t stop people looking at you but you surely can dress properly.
Finally, there are good percentage of girls gaze at men and even pass comments loudly when in numbers, should i expect women of society to comeup and slap those girls ?? or should i take the matter in my hand and slap the girl myself?? coz i can alone over power bunch of girls , but then again soo called angel men comes up to help innocent girl and beat me up to death.
You have to be fair in society and have to prepared to give something instead of always be on receiving end.
@balma
” found women undressing you with eyes”
dont lie, tell me you you didnt liked it or what…;)
as for others….khawateen “tameez ka dairah” to choriyee…”kameez ka daira” phaar ke bahar nikalnay ko betaab rehti hain.
i m fed up with this phatichar hipocracy….sali adhi kameez, pechay se garden say kamer tak ka gala…nechay chak itnay lambay ke poray hips ka bio data malom ho jai…aur agar koi stare ker le tu aisay dekhti hain jasiay sari ghalti banday ki hu.
can there be any voice of sanity in this mad house please.
have you guys ever looked at how 10 year olds have satrted to dress like whores…..little teen age girls are proud to wear skin tight T-shirts with “SLUT” literraly pritned on them…..actuallly leavign nothing to imagination…..literlay and metaphorically.
although prait atma was really shocked once, when i saw a pathan guy wearing a pink t shirt with “SLUT” written on it….i was in Makro stroe…and was shaken at his guts…..later i almost collasped when i saw two burqa posh khawateen accompaning that guy…possibly illitrates i guess….hope so….:)
personally…i pass casual stare to pass my time while i drive…( dats why i find liyari express boaring…as nothing to see but phatichaar liyari residents all the way to office)…..but i do condemn the detailed long duration undressing of women the way bhoookay furstrated people normally do…..its devoid of ethics or class
lets start with the sentence “protect women of our society” Firstly women need respect not protection, there is a difference between the two, the word “protection” implies that they are week not capable to protect them selves, which is wrong. secondly women are an equal part of our society, they are the society, besides “women of our society” means we are excluding women of other societies. it would be better to say “respect women”
I am extremely disgusted of how you are imposing your defined dress code on women. Do you ogle at your mother/sister too if she is ever seen without a dupatta at home ? because you your self said you have a right to look at what they are showing…
now lets talk about the number of Rape, just because rape and sexual harassment are never reported does not mean they don’t exist. i have good reasons to believe that the number of daily rape cases in Karachi alone is no less than 10 a day, and the figures doesn’t include marital rape cases but if included it would jump way above a hundred.
now would you like your children to live in a society where a rape victim cant even report a crime against her, and even if she reports it she has absolutely zero chances of getting her culprit pay for the crime.
but of course, since it is not in the papers a crime such as rape does not even exist, just like there are no female sex workers in the country, just like there are no pornographic movies here, Just like no under age smokers, or drivers, and no non-Muslim alcohol consumption.
Correction :
“no non-Muslim alcohol consumption” Was supposed to be “no Muslim alcohol consumption” that is “No Muslims consume Alcohol in the country”
@Jamash: Man either your radar is pointing somewhere else or I lost my senses, you entirely missed my point.
You always catch the wrong train and insist that you are right, which I am afraid is not the right idea.
Women do need respect AND protection, I respect women that’s why I want to save their dignity.
I respect women, you respect women and there are good percentage of people who respect women, but what about those who don’t ??
So those who don’t respect try to rape a women, what will you do ?? you try to protect her ?? , that’s my point dear.
Beside that I totally disagree with your bookish assumption that women can protect themselves, NO THEY CAN’T.
They are weak by nature, men are born physically superior, please don’t deny universal truth.
I don’t know which class of people you are trying to represent here, there do exists some families where you can’t distinct man from women, but I am not talking about those 0.5% of population.
“women are an equal part of our society, they are the society”
What a joke, I can only laugh on your intellect,
Equal part of society means
Men + women = Society
so,
WOMEN ARE PART OF SOCIETY they are NOT society, they can be society only if Men = 0.
I am not imposing dress code but suggesting modesty, if i run naked in your street you will have serious problem with that, isn’t it ?? so there are some society norms that everyone should contribute to make it comfortable for everyone.
Women have got full rights to dance naked inside home, but they don’t have right to spread vulgarity in society and that’s why they should dress appropriately.
Rehan I do agree with you. I know you respect women and i am not questioning your intents here.
but when we say they cant protect them selves, it implies that they are completely defense less which, we than drag this point further saying she should not leave her house alone because she cant defend her self and there should be a man present at her guard to accompany her when ever she leaves the Char dewaree.
You will find traces of Patriarchy in literature, in law, in culture and in the ways of society, being a feminist and more accurately humanist I revolt against them. because i want to people to realize that women have been undermined without any justification at so many grounds.
I don’t expect that most people would go in such depth, but what i expect from them is to respect women. if men start thinking like you Rehan this society would become a much better place, i appreciate your thoughts.
I am sorry but i do look deeper into the social structures, i have seen raw pain, sorrows beading out of humanity so i cant be any less bitter. shear truth sometimes does that to people.
baiTay Jamash, if every man thought of every woman as his maa / behen, this world would have come to end right around hazrat Adam’s time.
There must be women whom I can look at without thinking of my maa / behen, for this world to go around.
And, Mr. Pajamay…..I like it when a young girl checks me out, but when an older woman….even older than me…..does the same, I am disgusted:-)
Kyaa oon kay baap/bhai nahi’n hai’n?
@ balma
sir wid all due respect…if a women in higer age bracket then yours, is looking at ya…pls return the favour…..as kon janay kub kahan shaam hu jai…
as for there baap nad bhai…you never know…kiya pata oper sun bath lay rahay hoon dus hazar farenheight ke mausam main…;)
shud i take sun blocks SP 45 ya SP 90 up there…aap ko tu pata hi hu ga….:D:D
@ jamash
“Do you ogle at your mother/sister too if she is ever seen without a dupatta at home”
i wud second rehan on that…..1) women are not equal to men in any way…its all feministic neo liberal mumbo jumbo or forigen funded NGOs run by ignored by husmaned aunties dyign of boredoom.
women need men as there protectors if not sole or main providers…..at any phase of life if they say..NAW WE DONT NEED MEN…they are just Bull SH*ting……..
as for looking at maa and behen as anyother….lets refer to our own religion yaar…..does MEHRAM and NA MEHRAM rings some bells here….??
blood relations are merham, we act talk and present diffrently form those which are non mehram.
ab kamray me mian biwi chaddi main ghomain ya bagair chaddi ke…its there own personal matters….but what if they are roaming around in the park like this….it becomes a public matter.
yahan we IMPOSE all responsibilities on men…khud nangay ghomo..per koi stare karay tu woh dunya ka sab sya bara therki , khabees aur looser admi ho ga…wow….what level ground we have for us here….
sheesh
What Jamash meant by this post was, if i’m not mistaken, be the individual change element in the society regarding ALL ethical issues that you see around yourself. Not just gender related issues.
The spirit of this post is not what women should wear or how men should control their eyes, but the fact that if you see something that doesn’t confirm to your ethics, stop complaining about the damn system and raise your voice then and there. This doesn’t mean you wage a war against perpetrators, but atleast register a response.
What Jamash did was simply stare at the guys, letting them know of what he felt about the situation. They had the option of ignoring it, but what counts is, he took a step.
The same can be applied to a variety of situations such people spitting pan here and there, public smokers, reckless drivers, vendors trying to loot customer due their lack of knowledge. Stop throwing your trash on the roads. Eat a chewing gum or a pack of chips, keep the wrapper in your pocket or your car (whichever applies), and dispose at the nearest trash bin. There are a lot, waiting to be used, if you take a look around.
Take a stand, make a contribution and “Be the Change”!
These are again, just examples, of the spirit of this post. Comments are welcome.
Kudos to you Jamash!